Daddy's Little Girl
by Breaking-Reen
Summary: Karin didn’t make it through childbirth leaving Toushirou to raise their child on his own and reconnecting their souls in Soul Society isn’t as easy as everyone anticipated. HitsuKarinBaby.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own bleach or its characters or anything for that matter.**

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"_Congratulations it's a girl!" Karin was weary and her hair stuck to her face from perspiration caused by the birth of her baby. She was a healthy baby girl at 5 pounds 12 ounces. And a winter baby just like her father. Karin held her arms out so that she could hold her baby when she started to tremble then it turned into violent, uncontrollable spasms. Hitsugaya took a hold of her hands asking her what was wrong. "Please step outside sir, we need more space." A nurse kindly said as she moved about in a sense of urgency. It became chaotic as doctors and nurses were squirming around in a panic in the little delivery room. Hitsugaya was confused, he wasn't used to hospitals in the human world and everything always seemed hectic, the constant beeping, countless nurses, and bags of fluids used for different reasons it was all too much. Now his 20 year old wife of two years just had their baby and was experiencing complications. They knew the risks, the doctors warned them of the consequences and the likelihood of it. Hitsugaya was skeptical about it but Karin insisted on keeping the baby. Hitsugaya sat out in the waiting room until a doctor came to tell him the bad news. Karin didn't make it. He cradled _their_ baby, _their daughter_ whom they didn't get to name together as tears strolled down his face, guilt and regret weighing on his mind. The snow fell heavily outside as he stared at the frost on the windows then do._

Hitsugaya fed and cleaned up his now 8 month old daughter. She had jet black hair and pale skin like her mother and had his emerald green eyes. She rarely cried, was extremely curious, full of energy and Hitsugaya loved her with all his heart. He placed her on his futon after she had fell asleep in his arms. They both lived in his 10th squad home, which, since he was a captain, was rather large. Even though he had a room for her, she always slept on his futon with him.

He removed his haori and shihakusho, took a nice warm bath and got dressed in a white yukata to sleep in. He lay next to his daughter who he named Sora and pulled the covers up. He watched her tiny body move up and down by way of her breathing and he touched her little arm with his finger. She was so beautiful and he wished Karin was with him so she could see how beautiful their daughter was, so that she could see what they had made together, and so that she could love her with all her heart as well.

He'd search for Karin since he came back to Soul Society but there was no such luck. It would take all of eternity to search all the districts of Rukongai to find one person but he wasn't going to give up. He knew she had high reiatsu so he was hoping that she would attend the shinigami academy someday and he was still waiting. He took the liberty of reviewing all the applications and entrance exams in hopes of finding her but applications were only accepted twice a year. Another set back was that all of her memories would be gone. She wouldn't remember _him_ or _her daughter,_ or her family. The only thing she would know is her name. That idea made Hitsugaya wonder if should know her maiden name or married name. There was a way to trigger her memories but the problem was figuring out how and if her memories were able to return. Everyone was different and most people can't regain their memories after death but he knew there was a way with Karin considering _their _past and her family. Shinigami blood ran through her veins so she should be able to recall her memories. He regretted not letting her become a shinigami before because at least that way, if she was to die, she would have her memories indefinitely and he wouldn't have to search for her. It would have been like nothing ever happened except that her body died. But he kept her a human wanting to protect her and not involving her with dangerous matters and that decision definitely came back to bite him in the ass.

Hitsugaya awoke with drool on his face and he felt his hair being tugged on. He opened his eyes and Sora had her hand full of his hair and her other hand in her mouth which she also used to touch _his_ face. He stared at his daughter and pinched her cheek affectionately.

"O-sa!" Sora had been saying that for the past few days now.

"Yes, otousan."

"O-sa!!!" She repeated. Hitsugaya picked her up to change and feed her. He became extremely talented in doing things with one hand such as warming up her food and packing her baby bag. He fed her o-kayu most times and he noticed that she took a liking to banana and watermelon. Go figure.

He placed her back on the futon so that he could get himself ready for the day. He always had to keep a watchful eye on her especially since she had started crawling.

Once, she got to the supply of ink next his desk and she was an inky disaster. He still hadn't figured out how she got the bottles open. Her handprints are still on his office floor and on the side of his desk, and the outfit she had on at the time is no longer usable. There was also another time when Matsumoto was babysitting. No one had any idea that Sora could crawl, so when Matsumoto was looking through some paperwork thinking Sora couldn't go anywhere, Sora got a hold of the baby powder that wasn't quite shut. Matsumoto only noticed her disappearance when she heard an endless amount of cute little sneezes. Hitsugaya was fuming when he arrived back from a captains meeting to see his daughter covered in white powder. Matsumoto tried to brighten things up by declaring Sora's ability to crawl which worked for only about a minute but she still got stuck doing all the paper work for the remainder of the week.

Hitsugaya stepped into the 10th squad office holding Sora against his left hip and a baby bag on his right shoulder. The office was empty and there was a large pile of paperwork on one side of his desk.

"Looks like daddy's going to be busy today." He sighed. Sora looked at him with her big green eyes then giggled and took hold of his bottom lip. He kissed her forehead then put her down next to his desk.

He had cleaned up the office to ensure that it was baby proof. He removed the box of ink from the floor, put soft foam on all the edges of everything, including his desk and chair, and removed all of the books in the bottom three shelves even though she couldn't reach that high. He even had carpet installed to soften the floor a little, which covered her ink made handprints but there were still prints on the side of his desk. Everyone thought he was crazy for rearranging everything in the office but the thought of his daughter growing up with no mother to take care of her was reason enough that Hitsugaya had to have her at work with him.

Everyone adored Sora and the two-person family always got all sorts of compliments. _Oh how cute. She has your eyes. She's so tiny. You look so young to be a father._ That had to be the comment he hated the most. Hitsugaya still did look rather young and he definitely wasn't as tall as most guys but he was still taller than Karin by a few inches, since she hadn't reached a mere five feet. And he was beyond the appropriate age of being a father.

Sometimes Ukitake taicho would take Sora off of Hitsugaya's hands for a few hours because he couldn't get enough of her and this allowed Hitsugaya some time to yell at Matsumoto for whatever she _didn't_ do.

It was nearly noon and Sora kept herself preoccupied with her toys and crawling around the large office. Hitsugaya made it a habit to watch her and work at the same time which was relatively easy since she always made baby noises. It was as if she were talking to someone in her own language. He would call her name every once in awhile so that she could learn to respond to her name and he changed her diaper but other than that she had behaved herself. Hitsugaya was about halfway done with the paperwork when he felt a tug on his hakama. Sora was making a hand gesture by bringing her hand to her mouth.

"Are you hungry?" She stared at her father then did the gesture again while making baby noises.

Hitsugaya was glad that he got into the habit of showing her hand gestures because it was easier to tell what she wanted. Ukitake taicho had been the one to start it and suggested it to the young captain himself.

Hitsugaya reached for the baby bag and pulled out a banana. He sat her on his lap as he gave her little pieces of banana which she happily took. By the end of their lunch break Hitsugaya had banana smeared on his robes.

"You know you are quite the messy eater." Hitsugaya loved talking to her even though she doesn't really know what he's saying. She just stared at him with her large green eyes.

He walked to the sofa and lay down while still holding his daughter. He sat her up on his stomach and she held onto his pointer fingers, one in each hand. Hitsugaya was always disbelieving at how tiny she was. His hands hand to be ten times larger than her hands and her toes didn't extend out more than one and half centimeters. When he looked at her it was like he was looking into his own eyes and her hair was still rather short but there was a lot of it. He lay her down on his chest so that she could take a nap but she was restless. She was crawling on top of him and she kept pulling his hair. She even tried to get down to the floor.

"Sora, you need to take a nap." He wanted a nap as well. She responded by still trying to get down and uttered some baby words rather loudly as if she'd throw a tantrum if she didn't get her way.

She just kept moving around so he got up knowing his own daughter had won. He placed her on the floor and she happily crawled into the direction of his desk.

_Where the hell is Matsumoto? It's past noon and she still hasn't come in. _Sometimes thinking of Matsumoto's whereabouts stressed him out.

A messenger knocked on the door. "Hitsugaya taicho we have a delivery for you."

He slid the door open to see a rather young looking messenger boy. He took the stack of papers from the boy and thanked him. It was the shinigami academy applications. He slid the door close then set the applications down on his desk when he noticed that he didn't hear giggling or cooing and Sora was no where in sight. Hitsugaya became frantic. _I can't believe I lost her. Could she have gone outside? Kuso!_

He checked around the office first. She wasn't under the table, on the bottom bookshelf or under the couch which were her usual hiding or snoozing places. He was relieved to find her snoozing under his desk.

"I need to keep a better eye on you." He sighed to himself. He picked her up and lay on the sofa with her still in his arm.

"I love you Sora." Hitsugaya shut his eyes and joined his daughter in slumber.

"Taicho?" Matsumoto walked into the office and saw an unoccupied desk with a pile of work still on it. She took part of the stack and was just about to sit on the sofa when she saw her captain snoozing away while cradling Sora in his arm.

Matsumoto loved Sora almost as much as her captain did and was glad that he was lucky enough to have Sora in his life or…err…after life. She knew her captain's love for his daughter and Karin was true and unconditional. If it weren't for Sora, her captain would be completely broken. He was the last person she'd expect to ever have a child but he embraced it and was a rather good father. He seemed more patient and less temperamental and made him seem all the more grown up. It was nice to see a sensitive side to him although when Sora wasn't around, he was his old self so Matsumoto was more than happy whenever Sora was present. She smiled at them then sat at the desk. Matsumoto had been much more helpful since her captain was much more preoccupied with other things. She saw the neat stack of academy applications so she looked through it to see if Karin filled an application but there was no such luck.

"He's going to be so disappointed." Matsumoto mumbled to herself. Matsumoto had tried many times searching for Karin but she couldn't find her. She knew it was close to impossible considering the amount of people in all of Rukongai. A knock pulled Matsumoto out of her thoughts and she slid the door open to see Rukia.

"Shhh, they're sleeping." Matsumoto held a finger up to her lips.

Rukia nodded. "So I heard the applications came in, is she in yet?" Rukia whispered.

"Unfortunately, no." Matsumoto shook her head sadly.

Rukia walked to the sofa to see the sleeping father and daughter. She almost cried at the sight of them. The feeling of seeing something so precious was indescribable, there was so much love and it was just too cute.

Kurosaki Ichigo was starting to worry about finding Karin too since there was no sign of her. He visited Soul Society shortly after her death to see his niece and to try and look for Karin. There were many people who helped but no one could find her. They were sure that her soul went straight to Soul Society when she passed on because no one did a soul burial on her and no one has seen her or felt her reiatsu since she had her baby.

The Kurosaki's were all depressed for a few months after Karin died, especially Yuzu. Yuzu cried herself to sleep almost every night for two months straight and her husband Hanakari Jinta was worried about her. Worried that she would feel the unbelievable amount of emotional pain for the rest of her life and worried that she wouldn't be able to move on, because he knew that Karin wouldn't have wanted her to dwell on her untimely death.

Finding Karin was turning out to be a bigger challenge than everyone had anticipated but no one was losing hope. It hadn't been a year yet and they all knew that it would only be a matter of time.

Hitsugaya and Sora had been napping for a little over an hour when he jolted awake due to a spike in Sora's reiatsu and that would only lead to one thing. A crying fit. Hitsugaya stood up and held his daughter to his shoulder and gently rubbed her little back.

"Shh…shh…it's ok." Sora didn't know what it was but was somehow aware of her own reiatsu but whenever it went on a second long frenzy, she would cry. Her reiatsu was slightly present and it was usually at an even rate of flow. She didn't enjoy the way it felt when she could suddenly sense a higher amount in herself and she is a baby after all. He wondered if she had bad dreams that led to the flares and he noticed that other people's reiatsu didn't seem to bother her in any sort of way. There weren't many babies in Soul Society so there wasn't much information on it.

"Not even a year old and you have spirit power. You are definitely the child of a Shinigami." Hitsugaya was somewhat proud but also afraid and wished that her power would come later in life so that she could understand it.

Sora cried for almost 20 minutes before finally calming down and Hitsugaya gave her a bottle with water in it. His shoulder was wet from her tears and Sora's face was a little red from her crying.

"Is she ok taicho?"

"Yes, it was her reiatsu again." Hitsugaya's hair was a mess and he looked tired. The reiatsu spikes had been happening more frequently but only when she was asleep. All in all, Hitsugaya wondered what it was that her 8 month old daughter could possibly be dreaming about.

Hitsugaya and Matsumoto finished all the paper work and processed the applications. The day had finally come to an end and Hitsugaya was yearning for his futon and a nice hot bath.

Hitsugaya made all white meat chicken and rice for dinner. He cut the chicken into really small pieces and mixed it with o-kayu to feed to Sora. He sat on the floor with Sora in his lap as he spooned food into her mouth. She had quite the appetite and ate almost anything he fed her though sometimes it would take a few tries. Sometimes she'd spit things up more than once before finally eating it.

He filled a large portable basin with warm water and placed a naked Sora in it. He shampooed her hair and soaped her while she splashed water on him. When the time came to dry her off, Hitsugaya was almost as wet as she was. He took off his haori then picked her up out of her tub and wrapped a towel around her. He carefully dried her making sure to dry her hair especially so that she wouldn't get sick. Putting on her diaper used to be a challenge since she moved around so much but he learned to manage after gaining the patience necessary after having a child. He dressed Sora in the human baby pajamas that Matsumoto bought for her. It was white and had little pink butterflies all over them. He then placed her on his futon and watched as Sora yawned. This made Hitsugaya smile at his daughter. She lay down and stared at him, as usual, while he pinched her cheek affectionately and let her hold his finger.

"You're beautiful just like your mother. We're still looking for her but we'll find her, I promise." Sora's eyes started to droop and she let out another yawn. Her mouth was so tiny and she let out a small coo when she yawned and let go of the finger she was grasping in her tiny hand.

"You mother will love you as much as I do. Good night my sweet Sora." Hitsugaya kissed his now sleeping daughter and covered her with her little blanket.

Hitsugaya filled his tub and undressed. He made it a point to leave the bathroom door open just in case something was to happen. A hot bath was just what he needed to relax, the warm water felt nice on his tan skin and he almost felt some of the stress evaporate straight out of his pores. He leaned his head back over the ledge of the tub and thought about Karin and Sora, all the things they went through, how he would find Karin, what it would be like when Sora got older and Sora's increasing power. He was a little worried about her reiatsu and the possibility of it being caused by bad dreams and how it makes her cry. Sora was strong and didn't cry much but she scared herself with her own reiatsu. He would teach her the initial stages of controlling it when she was old enough but he didn't want to see her suffer from it now, being less than a year old.

Hitsugaya pondered in the bath a little while longer then dried him self and got dressed. He lay down next to his daughter who was sleeping peacefully and then fell into a much needed deep sleep.

"_Toushirou!!! Come on we're going to be late."_

"_I coming." He was in his own captain's quarters in the 10__th__ division barracks. He slid his door open and Karin stood there wearing her school uniform and a duffle bag strapped over her shoulder. He granted her access into Soul Society so that she could spend her winter break from school there to train and learn to control her reiatsu. That was their excuse at least. _

"_Let me take that." He took her bag from her and placed it in his bedroom._

"_Arigatou."_

"_So where are we going?" Hitsugaya talked to Karin as he did to any other person, stern and nonchalant at the same time. He reminded her much of her own brother sometimes._

"_You'll see." Karin had planned something out with Matsumoto for that special night._

_They walked to Soukyoku hill where there was a blanket and picnic basket waiting for them._

"_Why are we up here?"_

"_It'll be easier to see from here." Karin chirped._

"_What's easier to…" Fireworks started exploding in the sky. There were so many colors and it lit up the dark sky making it harder to see the stars. They looked at the aerials in awe as the various colors reflected in their eyes. _

_Karin took a hold of Hitsugaya's hand. "Happy birthday Toushirou."_

"_Arigatou Kuro…Karin."_

_Karin smiled and kissed his cheek. Blood rushed to his cheeks and he was glad that it was dark._

_He looked up at the sky but when he looked back to Karin, the scene started to change, there were swirls of color spinning around him, and it started to make him dizzy until his feet landed on something solid and everything appeared pitch black. His eyes adjusted then he noticed that it was night time and that he was standing in a street. He looked around and recognized that he was Karakura Town. He instinctively walked to _his _spot where he liked to look at the sky. There was a girl already there leaning on the railing, she turned around, smiled and waved._

"_Ne_ _Toushirou, I was waiting for you." He walked up next to her, took her hand and looked up at the stars with her. He looked down at Karin who looked back up at him in return. He placed his hand on her cheek and started to close the gap between them before she playfully pulled away. She ran away laughing then stopped when she was about ten feet away from him._

"_Come on Toushirou." She gestured for him to follow her. She had a smile on her face, the moon shone on her illuminating her features, her big dark blue eyes, shiny black hair, her pale skin. She was beautiful as ever. _

_He ran after her then his world started to spin once again, darkness turning into blinding light. It was daytime now and Karin stood in front of him, dressed in a thick jacket, jeans, and boots._

"_Toushirou, look." She held out her palm as snowflakes landed on it melting almost instantly. He smiled and took off his scarf to wrap around her neck, blush became apparent on her cheeks as he kissed her forehead. The snow started to pick up and soon everything was covered in the fresh white powder. He placed his hand on her cheek then she disappeared._

"_Karin?"_

"_Toushirou, where are you?" Her voice was there but she was no where to be seen. It sounded distant yet close as it echoed in his ears and he became worried. _

"_I'm right here. Karin where are you?" Toushirou started running but didnt know why or where. "Karin?!" _

_The scenery changed a final time but much more quickly this time and without the swirls of color, light, or darkness. He was in Soul Society again outside of the 10__th__ squad office. The sun was setting illuminating the sky a bright red-orange color. It was spring, cherry blossoms still blooming gracing everything in a pink fashion._

"_Toushirou." He turned around and there she was, right in front of him. He reached out for her but her image was starting to fade._

"_Karin."_

"_I'll always love you Toushirou." Karin held her hand out to him._

"_Wait Karin, please don't leave." He reached out for her but wasn't able to grasp on anything._

Hitsugaya opened his eyes. Morning was close but it was still dark. All those memories, his dream, the thought of Karin made his heart hurt. He turned to look at Sora who was still sound asleep. She was what kept him sane and together since Karin's death but he still felt like his world had fallen apart.

"Karin." He whispered to himself.

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Sora means sky and I thougt that was suitable since that's what he always looks at. Oh and o-kayu is like rice porridge-ish I guess. It's actually pretty good.

So here's the first chapter, sorry if it sucked and if you liked it than yay I'm glad you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

I'd like to thank all my readers, reviewers and those who added this story to their favorites and alerts. You're all so very awesome. Also, I'd like to apologize for any typos I had or may have in the future. I'm usually up late at night or at work when I decide to write so if a sentence doesn't make sense, my deepest apologies. Anyways, here's chapter 2!

**Disclaimer: Don't own bleach or anything. The only thing I can say I proudly own is a car, but it's not the greatest car I must say.**

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Hitsugaya entered the 10th squad office with a sleeping Sora in his arms. He looked exhausted and his hair was the form of an untidy white mop on his head. Sora's reiatsu flared three nights in a row, twice just that past night.

"Taicho, you don't look so good."

"I'm fine Matsumoto." Hitsugaya sounded gruff and his eyes were a little droopy. He opened a blanket and placed his sleeping daughter on it. She looked so peaceful when she slept, so innocent and so oblivious to the world. The thought of her suffering because of a spike in her reiatsu made Hitsugaya feel guilty. Guilty for being a shinigami, guilty for thinking he wasn't a good father, and guilty for taking her mother away. It really wasn't much his fault but he blamed himself for every bit of it and the guilt just piled onto another until he was way in over his head.

He had the same dream almost every night and had to fight back his tears when he woke up. He had to find _her_ and made a vow to follow through no matter what. He decided that he would take a trip to the Southern Rukon district that day as soon as Sora woke up.

Matsumoto sat at the desk and watched her stressed out captain pace in front of her.

"Taicho, I think you need a break. You should go to the human world and visit with the Kurosaki's. I'm sure they would love to see Sora-chan."

"I can't, besides I have something planned today." Hitsugaya was spinning his wedding ring on his finger. Matsumoto noticed he did that quite often, especially when he was stressed or had something on his mind. It was an easily noticeable habit, especially after Karin's body died.

Hitsugaya strolled through the 1st district of the Southern part of Rukongai. He left Sora with Ukitake taicho who was happy to baby-sit. He felt like a grandfather to Sora and took her in as if she were. Hitsugaya strolled through places where there would be many people and he got many stares since it wasn't common for a shinigami, let alone a captain, to be casually strolling through the streets of Rukongai. He spent all day looking for Karin in the first district of Southern Rukongai but didn't find her. He didn't know how to ask around for her since he didn't know what surname she would use and it was hard to find someone amongst so many people. After 6 hours of walking around aimlessly, he decided it was time to head back to the Seireitei. He missed Sora and felt bad for keeping Ukitake taicho occupied with her.

His walk back to Seireitei seemed long but gave him much time to think. He didn't know what he would do in the situation of him finding Karin. He didn't know whether to tell her exactly who he is or play along as not knowing her until her memories returned. He thought about what he would do in that situation but it would be difficult, especially if she had _his_ surname and introducing himself as Hitsugaya taicho of squad 10 may be unusual. His thoughts kept him so preoccupied that it seemed no time had passed when he finally reached the 13th squad.

Hitsugaya knocked on the 13th squad office but Ukitake taicho wasn't there, the 13th squad's 3rd seats were there instead.

"Do you know where Ukitake taicho is?"

"He is in his living residence along with your daughter Hitsugaya taicho."

"Arigatou." Hitsugaya walked slowly to his fellow captain's living quarters. He had so much on his mind, how to find Karin, how to handle Sora's reiatsu, and if Matsumoto did today's work. He noticed that she had been much more helpful since Sora was born but Matsumoto will always be Matsumoto and she did sometimes slip. Just the other day he found three bottles of sake hiding behind some books in the book shelf. She tried to blame Kira and Hisagi but she had a genius for a captain, what made her think she could get away with a lie like that? Sometimes that woman was just too ridiculous and he still had trouble trying to contain his sometimes _sort of_ subordinate.

All thoughts of Matsumoto and the other stressors in his life vanished as soon as he saw his daughter. She was crawling around in the grass just outside of Ukitake's home and giggling and pointing at the many butterflies that fluttered in the air.

"Sora." She looked up at her father with her pretty greens eyes and reached for him. Although she was still a baby she knew her father's voice and it was soothing to her as it had been to Karin.

Karin loved Toushirou's voice as it gave her a sense of relief but also made her feel giddy. To hear her lover's voice was stimulating and she loved every second in which he spoke. His voice was like listening to the ocean on a calm summer day with no interruptions, relaxing and peaceful. His voice drowned out any other sounds, drowned out distractions, drew her into oblivion. When he spoke, there was no one else, just _him_ and _her._

"I missed you Sora." Hitsugaya picked her off the ground and kissed her forehead. Sora put her hand on his face. First on his cheek then she went for his bottom lip and then his nose.

"Were you a good girl today?" She took her hand away and held his haori and put her head down on his shoulder.

"Thank you for taking care of her, Ukitake taicho."

"Oh not a problem Hitsugaya taicho, I am thrilled to have her over at any time."

"Did she have trouble in her sleep?" Even though Hitsugaya may seem a bit softer at times, his gaze was still stern and he still sounded too serious.

"No, she slept soundly, no disturbances." Ukitake taicho smiled at the young captain.

"Arigatou." Hitsugaya bowed and walked back to the 10th squad office after Ukitake taicho handed him a bag of goodies. _It never gets old does it?_ Hitsugaya sweat dropped.

Matsumoto had done all the paper work and was already gone for the day and Sora had fallen asleep on their walk back to the 10th squad. Seeing as there was no work to do and no one around, he went to his own living quarters.

Hitsugaya set Sora down on his futon and smiled at her. He loved his daughter more than words could say and everyone could see it.

It was still the early hours of the evening and he knew that Sora would be up late because of the nap she was taking now but she looked so peaceful and he didn't want to wake her.

Hitsugaya removed his haori and sat on his window sill to look up at the sky. Stars were appearing as the sun descended down the horizon and the moon made its way to the sky. A cool breeze graced him as he closed his eyes and breathed in the cold air giving him goose bumps which was all too refreshing for him. With Sora asleep he almost felt lonely. It was frustrating searching for Karin in vain and depression took a slight hit. He hadn't felt like this since Hinamori was almost killed by Aizen, except this time he didn't blame anyone but himself. He thought about Karin everyday but the only way he was with her was in slumber. His dreams were almost haunting and sometimes felt so real. He would wake up with his heart beating faster than normal, trying to cope with all of the emotions turning in his stomach, mind and heart.

Hitsugaya looked at the ring on his finger and started spinning it again. This was what linked Karin to him. A representation of their love and unity but he lost it, lost her.

A few hours passed and Sora finally awoke from her sleep but she woke up crying. Hitsugaya didn't feel her reiatsu flare so he figured that she was just cranky. He picked her up and noticed how warm she was. He felt her forehead and it was burning up. He packed up a baby bag and headed straight for 4th squad.

It was late so the 4th squad was slow and really quiet, not like it was busy much and it was nothing compared to the craziness of the hospitals in the human world.

"Unohana taicho!"

"Hitsugaya taicho, how can I help you?" Unohana looked cheerful as usual and spoke in her friendly yet spine-chilling tone. If it weren't for Hitsugaya's white hair, he wouldn't have been as recognizable without his haori on.

"It's Sora, she's burning up." Unohana felt the baby's forehead.

"This way, quickly." Hitsugaya rushed behind a calm Unohana into an empty room.

"I'll be right back with a reishi stabilizer and crib for her. Do you think you could try and lower her body temperature?"

"Hai." As Unohana left the room Hitsugaya put his hand on her forehead and let out a gentle, steady flow of his icy reiatsu. He was careful not to over do it and though he looked calm on the exterior, he was internally anxious and worried. He was already emotionally distressed and the last thing he needed was for his daughter to be health impaired.

"Sora, you'll be fine. Unohana taicho will help you feel better ok?" He cradled her and gently rocked her back and forth. His cooling technique was slightly working but she was still very warm and still crying. Her crying fit wasn't as bad as when she first woke up but she was nonetheless, still crying and her face was growing red from it.

By the time Unohana came back with a crib, Sora had calmed down. Unohana did the usual temperature and weight and height measurements.

"She's quite small for her age."

"Is that a bad thing?" Hitsugaya asked almost bitterly. It was one thing for people to make comments on his size, but his daughter too?

"Of course not." Unohana smiled a little too cheerfully for his taste.

"Hitsugaya taicho, Sora has a 102 degree fever but there are no other signs of a cold. Has her reiatsu been of any concern lately?"

"Sometimes her reiatsu flares when she's asleep then she wakes up crying." Hitsugaya looked almost pleadingly to Unohana. He didn't want to lose his daughter like he lost Karin.

"Your daughter is going to be very powerful when she gets older." Unohana paused then looked at Hitsugaya thoughtfully.

"Her body is unable to handle her high reiatsu level right now which is why she's sick. It's too much for her body to handle."

"Is she affected in any way by the presence of other people or my own reiatsu?"

"With her reiatsu level probably not. As long as you feed her she should be fine." Unohana gave him a gentle smile. _How can she smile at a time like this?_ It drove Hitsugaya crazy with how Unohana taicho could remain so calm even in the worst of situations.

"Since she's unable to handle her own reiatsu right now what should I do?"

"I'll send a report to squad twelve. They have reiatsu stabilizers so if they insert it into an item for your daughter to wear, it will stabilize her reiatsu and should keep it from flaring. I suggest a bracelet since it's easy to place and remove."

"I see." Hitsugaya looked at the floor. He was glad that his daughter was going to be alright but there was still much weighing on his mind. Unohana placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Might I suggest that you take a few days off?"

"What? Why?"

"Your stress level is only going to increase more and that would be unhealthy for you and your daughter needs you. You need some time to relax. Whatever's on your mind, you need to let it go. Don't stress yourself over something that can't be helped." Hitsugaya's eyes widened at what Unohana just said. _Am I that apparent that she knew what I was thinking? _

"Hitsugaya taicho, it's obvious to anyone who can see that you're occupied within your thoughts. Your wife is strong, she can fend for herself and until she comes back into your life, don't let too much of it get to you." Unohana smiled again.

"You can take your daughter home as soon as the bracelet arrives. Make sure to give her lots of water, she'll be better in a few days."

"Hai, arigatou." Hitsugaya sat on the chair next to the 4th squad's crib. He touched Sora's warm cheek and traced his finger down her arm then held her little hand. Her skin tone contrasted to his tan complexion and her skin felt soft against his hand.

"Everything will be ok Sora, you'll get better. Unohana taicho says you'll be a powerful shinigami one day." He paused as his gaze softened. "Just please don't grow up too fast."

It was 6 A.M. when Hitsugaya awoke. He sat up straight in the chair and slowly turned his stiff neck. There was a little box at the foot of her crib and he opened it to find a green jade bracelet. It was so little, no more than five centimeters in diameter. He slid it on Sora's wrist and her reiatsu faded to a lower intensity almost instantly. Sora reacted to it but not in her usual manner. She opened her eyes and looked up at her exhausted father.

"Good morning Sora."

She blinked a few times before her eyes adjusted. "O-sa." She reached out for him as he picked her up out of the crib. He felt her forehead and though she was a little warm, it wasn't as severe as it had been the night before.

"Let's go home."

Sora cooed and took a handful of his shihakusho. The walk back was chilly, much to Hitsugaya's satisfaction. He kept Sora wrapped up in her blanket so as to not let a cold take over. It was still dark but there was a morning aura in the air, dew was present on the grass, and some shinigami were already up and lights could be seen on in some places. Soon the sky would be filled with rays of early sunlight that will slowly warm the grounds of all of Soul Society.

When Hitsugaya made it to the 10th squad office, Sora had fallen asleep again. He switched her to his left arm and shoulder then scrounged around for paper with his right. He left a note for Matsumoto then went home and soundly slept in with his daughter.

"Taichooo." Matsumoto slightly sang as she entered the office a few hours later. It was empty, no one at the desk and no one on the sofa. She found a note on the desk, it was short and brief.

_Matsumoto,_

_Please keep up on all the work and carry on with the squad duties. I am leaving these tasks to you and I know you will not disappoint me. I shall return to work in 3 days time._

_Hitsugaya taicho _

Matsumoto had been bugging her captain to take a break for awhile now and she was glad that he finally took the advice. She smiled as she sat at the desk and started filling the papers to be delivered or filed away.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Karin was strolling through the market in the 22nd district of Southern Rukongai. Even in her after life she wasn't much of a cook so the person putting her up gave her a list of ingredients for curry and was going to teach her how to make it.

"Hasegawa-kun, I'm back." Karin announced as she stepped in the little home.

"Arigatou Hitsugaya-san." Karin smiled cheerfully as she handed the basket to Hasegawa Kenji.

Hasegawa Kenji had been in Rukongai for nearly 15 years and though he had spirit power, he never thought to attend the academy. He just waited patiently to be reincarnated into a human.

Kenji was tall, had dark brown hair, light brown eyes, and had a medium build. He found Karin wandering on a deserted road, ready to collapse from hunger and took her in. He had been cooking and providing a home for her ever since. They became close and Hasegawa started to develop feelings for Karin but he knew it wasn't reciprocated.

Karin has no memory of her past life except that her name is Hitsugaya Karin.

"_Are you married?" Hasegawa asked the first time he gave her food._

"_I don't know, not that I know of. Why do you ask?"_

"_You're wearing a ring."_

Karin didn't even notice her ring until he'd mentioned it. Karin examined the ring many times and there was no clue as to whether she was married or not. It was a plain, white gold band with a dragon engraved on the inside. Though she didn't know what the dragon meant or what her ring signified, she kept it on. Something in the back of her mind made her keep the ring on.

"So are you going to teach me how to make curry today?" Kenji taught Karin how to make many different foods such as pork tofu, stews, and tempura.

"Yes I am. So what exactly do you like in your curry?"

"Anything." Karin replied as Hasegawa smiled.

He didn't know what it was, but there was a certain spunk about her. She was friendly and energetic and was really tough. She had mentioned that she wanted to attend the shinigami academy and this made Hasegawa think twice about waiting to be reincarnated. He knew he could be accepted since he had a good amount of reiatsu and it would be nice to live in Seireitei rather than his little home, though, the district in which they resided wasn't _too_ bad.

He tried not to fall for her, but living with her and being around her all the time made that task difficult. She was a beautiful girl and her unique personality made her all the more attractive. He had never met someone like her but he let the untold feelings go. He knew he didn't have a chance and she could have been married for all he knew.

Kenji and Karin enjoyed their dinner together. When they were through cleaning up, Karin went to the roof as she always did after dinner to gaze at the stars. The moon was full that night lighting up the sky.

Kenji joined her and noticed how the moonlight complimented her beauty. It was the same thing Toushirou used to see when the moon shone on her.

"So why do you always sit on the roof at night?"

"I don't know, it just feels right." Karin didn't take her eyes away from the stars and the sky. It was a little chilly as the autumn breeze blew throughout Soul Society causing Karin's hair to be moved in an untidy manner. She shivered then she felt an arm around her.

Kenji saw her shiver and wanted to keep her warm. He put his arm around her, risking rejection and thinking she might push it off but she didn't. She leaned her head on his shoulder and took in his warmth instead.

"Ne, Kenji?"

"Yes Karin."

"Arigatou."

"For what?"

"For taking care of me, for letting me stay here, and for not turning your back on me."

"I really don't mind, I lived alone for so many years, it's nice to have company."

Karin got up and mentioned that she was going to bed. Kenji sat on the roof a little longer thinking about what just happened and what he was doing. A smile graced his lips then he too went inside.

XXXXX

Hitsugaya sat on the roof of his home while holding a bundle of blankets who was Sora. She liked being on the roof with her father. She never failed to look everywhere she could, trying to take in as much as possible and she cooed happily. The full moon lit up the two pairs of green eyes.

"Your mother and I used to sit on the roof all the time. It was the only time we would sit together quietly and in peace even if we were in some sort of disagreement." Sora looked up at him absorbing her father's voice. She couldn't understand him but he knew she would learn about her mother when she was old enough to understand. He didn't want Sora to grow up without a mother for too long but until then, all he could do was tell Sora about her. He cradled Sora until she fell asleep.

Hitsugaya couldn't remember the last time he felt so relaxed with minimal stress. A breeze hit them and Toushirou swore Karin's scent had graced his senses but it was gone as soon as it came.

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Sorry, I wanted to post this sooner but holidays are crazy! If I dont post another chapter in time I'd like to wish everyone Happy _Holidays_!


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry I took so long. I just couldn't satisfy myself with this chapter but I thought I should just post it before I change it again. And thanks for reading and reviewing and all that. I really appreciate it.

**Disclaimer: Don't own bleach.**

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It was winter in Soul Society though, there wasn't snow in Seireitei, there never was. It was nearing Sora's first birthday which was a week away and she had surely grown before everyone's eyes. It was a slow day for all the squads but there was always still work to do. Since squad 5 had someone handling the work, squad 10 was no longer responsible for it, though the transition did take time.

"Matsumoto, I have some files that need to be sent to squad 5. Please deliver them." Hitsugaya didn't look up from his work but already knew she was pouting.

"But taicho, it's so cold!"

"It's not that cold and it's not like it snows in Seireitei." Hitsugaya said blankly as he continued with his work in his perfect handwriting.

"Hmph, easy for _you_ to say." Matsumoto said as she crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip.

Hitsugaya stood up and dressed his daughter in a thick white cloak that complemented their eyes, white mittens, and red rubber boots over her white and pink polka dot socks.

"Matsumoto, continue the rest of the paperwork."

"Hai. Uh taicho, what do you have planned for today?"

"Nothing." Hitsugaya responded icily while wrapping a red scarf around his neck. It was the same one he wrapped around Karin's neck just a few years ago, the same one in his dream and the same one branded into his memories.

"Oh." Matsumoto put on a sad demeanor and quietly walked to the desk.

Hitsugaya lifted the hood of Sora's cloak onto her head and stepped outside. The sun was shining vibrantly, high in the sky but the air was chilly and Sora's face had a hint of red from the cold. He walked to the 5th squad office with the stack of papers in one hand and Sora in the other.

"Tou-sa, tofu." Sora looked at her father with a little smile.

"You want tofu for lunch?" His breath caused mist to appear from his mouth. Sora laughed and tried to grasp the amusing scientific phenomenon while nodding.

"We'll get lunch after I drop this off to Hinamori."

"Momo."

"Yes, Momo." Hitsugaya looked into his daughter's eyes whose were identical to his own except that Sora smiled with eyes. He knew her eyes appeared brighter than his and probably looked much friendlier.

Hitsugaya always worried about his icy personality rubbing off onto his daughter but if she had a similar mind set as her father, it would be easy to get her to agree with whatever he said, especially when she gets older right? Considering that Sora is now barely a year old, she was quite cheerful and was usually in a good mood, though, he had to watch what he said. She was talking more and more everyday and repeated most of the things she heard, including _bad_ words.

Once, while Matsumoto and Hisagi were babysitting Sora, Matsumoto and Hisagi got into an argument about some useless matter.

"_Damn it Hisagi! I'm right and you're just an asshole!"_

"_Ass-ole."_

_Matsumoto and Hisagi both gasped when they heard the voice of a child just learning how to talk._

"_No Sora, say Hisagi."_

"_Ee-sa-ee ass-ole."_

"_Thanks Rangiku, you just made it worst." Hisagi snapped._

Hitsugaya returned from dropping files off to the sotaicho and Matsumoto received the lecture of her life not to mention the fact that her ears were ringing from all his yelling. He even stated that even though the statement may be true, it wasn't appropriate for his daughter, his infant daughter, to say. Hitsugaya knew it wasn't true but Hisagi was a part of it too so he had to get him for something. He kicked them out that night and ordered Matsumoto to clean the bathrooms the next morning.

Hitsugaya knocked on the 5th squad's office door and someone voiced him to come in.

"Hitsugaya-kun, Sora-chan." Hinamori stood up from her desk and took Sora off of Hitsugaya's hands.

"How many times must I say this, its _Hitsugaya taicho_."

Hinamori giggled as she walked away while still holding Sora.

"She's grown since I last saw her." Hinamori held the child out at arms length to examine her.

"Is she walking yet?"

"She can definitely stand but her walking is still a little wobbly, though, she is still capable of it."

"Ooh really?" Hinamori put Sora on the ground to watch her walk but Sora placed her own butt on the ground instead. Her hood slid off when she made contact with the floor and freed her growing raven black hair.

"Come on Sora-chan, can you walk for me?" Hinamori lifted Sora to her feet but Sora sat back down once again. Hitsugaya smirked as she continually failed to get Sora to walk.

He walked over to them and took Sora's hands and lifted her to her feet, then he slowly stepped back causing Sora to walk forward. After a few steps, he let her hands go and she continued to walk toward him until she reached his leg and grasped his hakama.

"Wow, Sora-chan, good job!" Hinamori knelt down in front of Sora and held her hand out. Sora stared at it for a few seconds before placing her own hand in it.

"Momo." Sora said out loud.

"Your name is the only one she can pronounce properly." Hitsugaya stated as he handed a stack of files to her then picked Sora up. Hinamori smiled.

"We're going to get lunch now. Ja ne Hinamori." Hitsugaya slid the door open.

"Wait, Hitsugaya-kun." Hinamori handed him a blue gift bag.

"Happy birthday. It's actually from both Matsumoto-san and me." Hinamori smiled cheerfully, she never failed to give him a gift on his birthday but this year, he wasn't up to celebrating it.

"Arigatou, Hinamori." He attempted a smile but it faded quickly.

"Say bye Sora." Hitsugaya held her wrist and moved her hand in a waving motion.

"Bye Momo."

"Ja ne Sora-chan, Hitsugaya-kun." Hinamori waved as they walked away from her office.

Hinamori had been overwhelmed with work since her division was still lacking a captain. It took awhile for her to come around but she finally accepted the reality that Aizen was a traitor and she had apologized countless times to her childhood friend for attacking him and accusing him of a fake murder. It had been five years since the war ended which gave Hinamori more than enough time to move on, time to apologize, and time for everyone to forgive and forget.

Hitsugaya arrived at a noodle house where he was properly greeted as "Hitsugaya taicho" and was seated. The waiter even brought out a high chair for Sora, much to Hitsugaya's surprise.

"Do you still want tofu?"

Sora nodded happily. He always wondered how he got so lucky to have such an amazing daughter.

Hitsugaya ordered miso soup with tofu and a side order of rice for Sora and ordered himself a small bowl of shoyu ramen. When the food arrived, Hitsugaya put a little bit of miso soup on the scoop of rice since it would be easier to feed a baby soup that way and took out a few cubes of tofu. He put a little bit of rice and a little piece of tofu on every spoon he fed Sora. Tofu was one of her favorites and since she could say the word, she asked for it frequently. Every time he fed her a spoonful, he took a bite out of his own food. Sora giggled as she watched her father slurp up the noodles.

After their meal, Hitsugaya opened the gift he received from Momo. It was a little photo album. It started with photos of Karin and him self. Karin at least half smiled in most of the pictures where as he looked annoyed or showed as much as a smirk for a smile. Looking at the photos made him long for Karin even more and made his stomach turn but he couldn't stop flipping through the pages. There were photos of their wedding, the old fashioned wedding that they held in Soul Society and the traditional wedding they held in the human world. Then there were the pictures of Karin while she was with an unborn Sora. These were the last months he had spent with her and though they were married, she lived in their house alone a lot of the time. She didn't mind and she understood the duties her husband had to fulfill but he always came to be with her on the weekends. Inoue spent a lot of time with Karin during her pregnancy since Karin, for some reason, couldn't get enough of Inoue's unusual recipes.

Their house remains in the living world, unoccupied and still waiting for the return of its owners. Hitsugaya never went back to the house after Sora was born. He didn't want to admit any reason to anyone why he wouldn't return but deep down within himself, he knew. He didn't think he could deal with all the memories. Everything would be too familiar, the colors, the smells, and Karin's belongings were still there. Ichigo and Yuzu went to the house every once in awhile to check on it but that always resulted in a crying fit for Yuzu, and Ichigo hugging and comforting her all the while.

He avoided going to the human world as much as possible visiting the Kurosaki's only once in the past year. Ichigo visited Soul Society quite often, especially to see Rukia so he was the only family Sora was familiar with. Hitsugaya felt at fault for keeping Sora from her family and he knew he was being selfish and would never admit to being a coward but that's exactly the reason why he didn't go back. He didn't think his heart would be able to take it. He couldn't, he wouldn't breakdown for the sake of his job as captain of the 10th squad and for the sake of his daughter.

After the birth of Sora, Karin didn't appear in any photos; it was now just Hitsugaya and Sora. There were pictures that he wasn't aware was taken, most of which were taken while he was asleep or when someone was baby sitting. The pictures were put in order as Sora grew. He had forgotten how little she used to be. Sora was growing more beautiful and looking more like her mother every day.

The last page was a photo of the sky taken from _their_ spot on the side of the road. That was their meeting spot. It was where they shared their thoughts with each other, secrets, and their past. That faithful day when Karin kicked her ball a little too hard, it was destiny for them to meet and this, now, was their fate. He just hoped that fate would be on his side in the near future in finding Karin.

After meeting Hitsugaya at the spot and hearing him out about the sky and memories, Karin went there nearly every day even if he wasn't there. Three years had passed until he came back and Karin was already there, leaning on the railing and watching the sunset. They both barely grew a few inches but Karin's hair had gotten much longer.

Love eventually flourished when they met every day for almost three months. Even though they were young, their love only grew stronger. He got used to Karin's tough tom boy attitude and she got used to his nonchalance and wariness.

It took Hitsugaya a while to open up to her but it was the same with Karin. They understood each other and their need to share their feelings. They both kept everything to themselves and they both always wanted to deal with everything themselves. Though they had different problems, they were more alike than anyone knew at the time. Everything linked together, Ichigo, shinigami, Hinamori, Aizen, hollow, arrancar, the winter war, Karakura town, and Karin's father's true identity. Yes, fate was a strange thing and they both realized it when they were able to connect everything, connect their lives. There were no secrets from Karin. He didn't have to worry about erasing her memory, which wouldn't work on her anyways, she knew what shinigami and hollows were and she was even able to fight them herself as long as they weren't too big. After recollecting all the memories that had to do with the picture, he slightly chuckled to himself. Only good memories were made at that railing.

Hitsugaya spent the day with his daughter. He knew Matsumoto wouldn't mind considering that she was upset when he said he wasn't doing anything for that day, for _his_ birthday. He took Sora to the outskirts of Rukongai, the only place it snowed in Soul Society unless _he_ made it snow on purpose.

He placed Sora on the ground where snow was extremely shallow and let her walk around.

"Tou-sa, so!"

"You mean snow?"

"So." She repeated.

He didn't even know how she figured out it was snow, it turns out she may be just as brilliant as he had been.

Sora looked up at him as he knelt down to her and held out a little snow ball. She stared at the ball for a little bit until she took it into her own hands. It fell apart but some snow still remained in her hands which she used to throw at her father.

"Hey, don't throw it at me."

Sora giggled then walked wobbly to a pile of snow where she threw it in the air as if it were confetti. Hitsugaya sat on the ground and watched her as she innocently played with the snow. He stared at her until he saw past her. He was starting to daydream. He saw Karin's face and he could feel her, smell her, and hold her. He was pulled out of it when he heard coughing.

"Sora, don't eat the snow."

Sora had bits of ice around her mouth. She looked at her daddy, eyes wide. She knew she was getting in trouble and when ever she did, she froze. She didn't cry but sometimes she would get scared. She didn't like getting scolded so it usually took one warning for her to stop what ever it was she was doing.

After spending a few more minutes in the snow, Hitsugaya thought it was time to leave before Sora got frostbite. He held on to her tightly yet gently as he shunpoed through all the districts of Southern Rukongai and back to Seireitei. Sora was never afraid but was amused of the quick movements. She always instinctively closed her eyes but not of fear, but because of the wind. As soon as Hitsugaya stopped at the Red Hollow gate, the southern gate, Sora giggled, and as the gate opened she pointed into the Seireitei and yelled "go!"

"Arigatou Higonyudou."

"Anytime Hitsugaya taicho."

As soon as he walked through the gate he shunpoed toward his office. He appeared in front of the building, an exhilarated Sora wriggling around in his arms.

"Up." Sora pointed towards the roof and Hitsugaya smirked.

"When we get home ok." He rubbed his finger on her cheek as she gazed at him. She put her head down on his shoulder and held onto his haori as he walked into the office to find Matsumoto sleeping on the couch. There was no work on the desk which meant she had finished it but he was surprised that she wasn't out with Kira or Hisagi. Seeing as there was nothing to do, he went home.

XXXXX

Karin sat on the roof watching the sun set when she thought she saw something in the distance. Someone appeared for less than half a second but was gone again. Her pupils enlarged and her eyes glazed over as a memory crept into her mind.

_She was moving really fast, she wasn't moving on her own accord but she wasn't in a vehicle either. The wind whipped through her hair and there was hair in her face. Not her hair but someone else's. It was much shorter and much lighter in color. It all looked sort of like a blur but it was somehow familiar. _

She felt her self returning to reality, wanting to know who was with her but the vision faded.

"What was that?" She said to herself out loud. Karin closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her temples and rubbed them, trying to recall what she just saw.

"Karin, are you ok?"

"Uh yeah, I'm fine."

"You were in a sort of daze or something. I kept saying your name and waving my hand in front of your face but you didn't respond. It was starting to make me nervous."

"Sorry, it was weird. I thought I saw something out there" – points toward the faraway field – "and then I saw something…in my mind. I don't know how to explain it. It seemed familiar but I can't recall it ever happening before."

"What did you see?"

"I was on someone's back while they were moving, running I think, but really fast."

Kenji gave Karin a puzzled looked while trying to contemplate what she saw. "Do you know whose back you were on?"

"It was someone with really light hair, a silvery white but I'm not sure if I know who it was. It doesn't ring a bell."

"Hmm strange."

They both sat in silence for a moment until Kenji changed the subject.

"So what would you like for dinner? I'll cook tonight."

"Tofu. I don't know why but I really want tofu."

"Tofu it is. You should come in soon it's getting kind of cold out here."

"It's fine, I actually kind of like it."

Kenji jumped off the roof and landed lightly on his feet. He and Karin were able to do that but it never occurred to him that not everyone can jump off a roof and land nicely without so much as a thud.

Karin thought more about what she saw or remembered. It somehow meant a lot to her and she didn't know why but she wouldn't let herself forget it.

Karin was happy living with Kenji in his little house in Rukongai but she felt like a part of her was missing. She didn't know what it was and she knew she would figure it out. She was frustrated with the vision and sometimes her dreams gave her clues to her human life but she wasn't able to relate them. She just thought they were dreams. But after her little apparition, she knew there was something that she didn't know. If she could just have a bigger clue. As far as she knew she was just Hitsugaya Karin, a girl with long black hair and dark blue eyes and had reiatsu. She wore a ring that had no significance to her and her family was Hasegawa Kenji. She knew she was somewhat different yet the same as many other people in Soul Society. She didn't know anyone besides Kenji and no one knew who she was as far as _she_ knew. It was just her and her very little family.

The sun was starting to set casting bright light out of the horizon. Karin held her hand to her forehead as she thought a little longer about everything, or everything she was aware of, then went inside to join Kenji for dinner.

XXXXX

Another day had gone by. Hitsugaya now a year older and in just a week, Sora would reach that one year mark too. Time ticked away with no regards to anyone's thoughts. Time was unstoppable, unavoidable, and irreplaceable. Watching Sora grow proved that it had taken that much longer to find Karin, that much longer that Sora had been motherless, and that much longer that Toushirou had been away from her.

Hitsugaya took his daughter to sit on the roof as he had promised earlier. The sun was already completely down and stars were twinkling high in the sky.

"Oshee." Sora pointed up at the sky. (She's trying to say hoshi [star] if anyone is wondering)

Hitsugaya cradled her gently and hummed a lullaby. After a few yawns and fighting her heavy eyelids, Sora was fast asleep. Hitsugaya felt to make sure her bracelet was intact to ensure a sound peaceful sleep for Sora.

"Goodnight my Sora."

Hitsugaya let the cold breeze blow through his messy white locks as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The cold was soothing and almost satisfying to the winter-souled shinigami. It was easier to take in the cold weather with his haori and scarf off. He always hoped his hands wouldn't be too cold for Sora but the cold never really seemed to bother her, though, it was always better to take precautions. He would never be able to forgive himself if he'd hurt Sora by his own hand in any way.

Hitsugaya went back into his home, took Sora's cloak off and placed her on his futon. He sat on his window sill, afraid to go to sleep. He was afraid of his memories, afraid to face them, afraid of the hurt that it would bring when he woke up. He felt like such a coward letting something as little as sleep to scare him. He thought about what his feelings were; whether if he was depressed or just plain pathetic. He couldn't help but feel sorry for himself. He only let these emotions leak out when no one was around to see him like this.

He sat on the sill until the clock read three o' clock. It was 3 A.M. and he was still awake. At that moment, he hoped that Karin was at least in a warm bed.

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This chapter was lame. Hope it wasn't too boring for everyone. Oh and happy New Year! Where did all the time go? And school is starting soon too...dread.


	4. Chapter 4

I'd like to thank **ready. aim .fire333** (sorry I have to put spaces) for an awesome idea that became a part of this chapter. Also, thanks to those who became or were already interested in my story, you guys are the greatest.

Sorry I took so long to post a chapter. I didn't realize how long it's actually been and I don't mean to disappoint everyone and I'm sorry that this chapter is not the greatest but to make it up to everyone, I should be posting another one quicker than usual! So please enjoy!

**Disclaimer: Don't own bleach.**

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Hitsugaya woke up to see bright green eyes staring at him and it made the corner of his lip curve up into a some what crooked smile. His eyes itched from lack of sleep and his head was pounding like a jackhammer but sleeping for only a few hours a night was his own decision. He didn't want to face his dreams and hated himself for being such a coward. They were only dreams. But that's exactly what they were – just mere dreams and nothing more, as much as he wanted them to be real.

"Good morning Sora." Hitsugaya cupped her little face and used his thumb to rub circles on her chubby cheek.

"Did you have a good sleep?"

Sora nodded then smiled. Her innocence seemed so overwhelming sometimes. She was already too cute to begin with and everyone just couldn't get enough of her.

Hitsugaya got up and got himself ready for the day, washing up and changing. He fed Sora stew so that she could benefit from its warmth then cleaned her up and got her ready. She was still a messy eater and stew was all over her bib and sleeping shirt.

It was still cold so he dressed Sora in human winter clothing and placed a little beanie on her head. Short strands of her raven black hair poking out from under the hat contrasted to her pale, nearly transparent skin.

Matsumoto was already at the office when they arrived but there was a large stack of paper work.

"Daddy has a lot of work to do." Hitsugaya sighed. He always referred to himself as _daddy_ to keep from confusing Sora. It would also be weird if his daughter called him by his name, which she did, or tried, occasionally when she heard other people address him.

"Toy." Sora pointed to her little toy box in the corner and started wriggling around. He let her down and she walked over to her toys as fast as her little legs would allow. Hitsugaya took half of the stack and sat on the sofa to do the work while Matsumoto remained at the desk. Paperwork didn't seem so troublesome since Matsumoto started pulling her weight but there were still piles of them everyday. Sometimes he would wonder what the point of all the work was. Much of it consisted of permission forms from the rest of the squad. Many of the requests even seemed silly such as requesting to visit Rukongai, which was unnecessary, or if they could be permitted to make moves on their busty fukutaicho.

Time ticked away quickly and before they knew it, lunch time came around. Sora was their lunch alert since she always got hungry at around the same time everyday.

Hitsugaya heated up a package of ramen and put very little soup base in it since it had a lot of salt. He cut the noodles into smaller pieces as best he could and poured out most of the soup and served it to Sora. Noodles were all over the table and Hitsugaya's robes so his haori laid in a heap on the floor for the rest of the day.

"Matsumoto, I'm going over to go to squad 12. Please take care of things while I'm gone"

"Hai taicho." Matsumoto smiled at her captain who didn't even look up from his paper work. Sora was napping on the floor and it was quiet without her cooing and gibberish, whilst playing with her toys.

The walk to the technological bureau of research and development was pleasant. It was cold, just the way Hitsugaya liked it and the breeze was stronger than usual flowing through his white locks. Sora was still asleep in his arms. The sound of her light breathing put him at ease since her reiatsu was harder to sense.

"Ah. Hitsugaya-taicho, how nice of you to drop by." Kurotsuchi greeted. "You are still a taicho right? You are missing something rather significant that would prove your rank."

"It got dirty." Hitsugaya replied almost coldly. "I'm here to pick up a new bracelet for Sora." Hitsugaya held her right arm up where a green jade bracelet was visible while appearing that he was already annoyed with the 12th squad captain.

"I think you have time before she out grows that one." Kurotsuchi stated matter of factly.

"It's starting to crack in some places." _Who said anything about outgrowing it?_ Hitsugaya thought.

"I guess it is always better to be safe than sorry." Kurotsuchi rolled his eyes much to Hitsugaya's displeasure.

Hitsugaya followed Kurotsuchi inside the building. He never really liked Kurotsuchi Mayuri and found his requests on experimenting on everyone quite irritating. By this time, Sora had woken up and was looking around the lab curiously. It wasn't anything like she's seen before. There were many screens and keyboards, bottles of colorful liquid, and jars of kami knows what. They reached a door that said personnel only.

"I don't think it would be appropriate to bring such a young child in here."

Hitsugaya looked around for a moment and saw Rin. Rin seemed trustworthy so he left Sora with him. Rin was exceptionally nervous about watching a baby, something he's by no means had to do before.

Sora sat on the floor and looked up at Rin and smiled showing off the few teeth she had.

"Aww, I guess you're not so bad. You're actually kind of cute." Rin held out his finger and Sora took a hold of it and giggled.

"You know you have your daddy's eyes?" Rin said in a baby voice. Rin had never seen anyone with eyes like they had thought that it was a great trait to inherit.

"You want a bite of cake? Does your daddy let you eat cake?" Rin decided that he would give Sora a little bite but much to his surprise; she spit it out and made a displeasing look on her face.

"You are much more like your father than I realized. So you don't like sweets huh?"

Sora stared at Rin and he stared back for a moment then his computer started beeping. There was an alert due to a sudden hollow outbreak in the real world. He was so preoccupied with the alert that he didn't notice Sora walking wobbly away.

Sora came upon Akon's office and there was a shelf in the corner. There was a box with Madarame Ikkaku's name on the bottom shelf. Sora lifted the lid to find molars which were to replace what Ikkaku had gotten knocked out for the umpteenth time. She took one of the molars and dropped it on the ground and it fell into some kind of goop but it was clear. Sora picked up the molar with her mitten covered hand and put it back in the box, left the lid off and walked away into another office.

She came about Nemu's office and she too had a shelf in the corner but there were more boxes on the bottom shelf. There was one for Ayasegawa Yumichika, Madarame Ikkaku, Matsumoto Rangiku, Abarai Renji, and of course her daddy. She didn't know what all the boxes meant or what the boxes said. She lifted two lids and saw soul candy dispensers in the boxes. She mixed up the box covers and eventually, Ikkaku's and Matsumoto's lids were switched and Yumichika's and Renji's were switched. Her father's soul candy box remained untouched. It was almost as if she knew.

Nemu walked into her office and saw Sora standing by the shelf giggling to her self.

"Oh, what are you doing in here?" Nemu picked her up and picked up Renji's, Yumichika's and Ikkaku's soul candy since they were being sent to the human world to deal with the hollow outbreak.

"Oh Hitsugaya-chan! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you." Rin was in hysterics until he saw Nemu walking out with Sora in her arms.

"You should keep a better eye on her or Hitsugaya taicho won't be too pleased with you." Nemu warned Rin.

"Hai, gomen." Rin mumbled as he gazed at the floor.

Rin had just sat down and opened a box of Hello Panda when Hitsugaya and Kurotsuchi came out of the private lab.

"Hitsugaya taicho, you have quite the interesting specimen here. Half human and half shinigami, very rare indeed. How about a trade? This bracelet for some experiment time with this child." Kurotsuchi didn't seem at all fazed by the rapidly dropping temperature.

Hitsugaya seethed, snatched the bracelet and froze Kurotsuchi to the core before storming out of the bureau while holding on to Sora in an inescapable grasp.

"He'll be all right; he's a strange freak of nature anyways." Hitsugaya said more to himself. Someone had to assure him that he didn't _kill_ Kurotsuchi Mayuri, the 12th squad captain…and freak. Sora was almost frightened after witnessing her father's actions but got over it when he started talking. His soothing voice still worked on her.

When Sora sensed that her father was calm she spoke "Wuv you tou-sa."

"I love you too Sora." Hitsugaya kissed her forehead while walking and holding her from under her arms.

"Shiro-chan!" Ukitake spotted them as they were making their way back to the 10th division.

"Ukitake-taicho." Hitsugaya slightly bowed.

"My, Sora has grown." Ukitake said cheerfully.

Hitsugaya sweat dropped. "You just saw her yesterday." He mumbled.

After conversing on Ukitake's end and getting handed a stocking full of candy, Hitsugaya went home. As soon as he arrived he jumped on the roof and sat Sora on his lap.

"People are crazy." He told his daughter.

"Cway-zeee."

Hitsugaya smirked.

"You've been talking quite a lot lately. Your okasan would be so proud of you."

"Ka-saa?" It sounded like a question but who knew? Sora wasn't aware enough to exactly ask questions.

"You'll meet her one day and I know you'll love her."

Sora reached up for him and puckered her lips. He brought her up to his face and she kissed his nose then giggled. He kissed her forehead then held her. He held her dearly and lovingly, no one in the world could take her away and he would protect her no matter what. He loved Sora deeper than words could say and he didn't want to ever lose her. He already lost someone he loved and he wasn't about to lose another. Unconditional love was the most powerful feeling Hitsugaya has ever encountered.

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Karin and Kenji were on their way back home from submitting an application at the shinigami academy and taking the entrance exam.

"Did you know anything on that exam?" Kenji asked.

"It's weird but, I think I did. There were things that I didn't know but there were many things that I was sure about. I don't even know how I know so much about shinigami."

"I feel like I didn't know a thing. I guess we'll just have to wait a week then we'll know if we got in or not."

"How do they tell you if you got in? Is there mail?" Karin had never seen a mail carrier in Soul Society.

"We go back and they post a listing. They even post what you rank in the entrance exam."

"Oh. Either way I guess they could find us, I mean isn't being a shinigami almost like magic?"

Kenji chuckled at her idea of magic. "Maybe some aspects of it. All shinigami are different and wield different powers. I think the seated officers are the ones who really count since they can call upon their zanpakutou and captains have an even more powerful attack method."

Karin contemplated what he just said. "Do you think I could become a seated officer?" Karin mused.

"Sure, why not? You can be whatever you want to be, magic and all." Kenji patted her head and messed up her hair.

"I really wish you would stop that." Karin gave him a side glance but continued walking.

"Stop what? This?" Kenji ruffled her hair then ran away.

"Chicken, why are you running away?!"

"You could just get me with your shinigami magic anyways!" Kenji yelled.

Sick of Kenji's mocking, Karin ran after him until she was able to tackle him. She knew she would be able to since she was faster than him but it placed them in an awkward position with Karin straddling Kenji.

"Gomen." Karin slightly blushed as she helped her room mate to his feet.

"No problem, you can do that anytime." Kenji winked.

Karin punched him in the jaw and said something along the lines of him being a pig as she walked away. Kenji smirked and really hoped that she would come around.

That night, Karin dreamt of playing soccer.

"_Pass it here!"_

_A black and white ball rolled in her direction, a perfect pass from her team mate. She didn't know who it was but knew indefinitely it was a male and he was good at the sport. _

_Karin kicked the ball into the goal, flying at a high velocity as it passes the goalie's head._

"_Nice job." A beautiful voice told her. "So was that enough of a workout for today?"_

_Karin nodded. She had to stay in shape somehow. _

_Someone took her hand, his skin color contrasted with hers. It was cool to the touch and sent chills through her body, and for some reason, she was giddy._

_A feeling ran through her, unsure what it was, but it was nice. A warm feeling that made her heart race._

Karin woke up in a good mood and she somehow had a good feeling about becoming a shinigami.

XXXXX

The next morning Hitsugaya walked into the office to find a very cheerful Matsumoto.

"Taichoooo." She sang.

"What is it Matsumoto?"

"Shinigami academy applications and entrance exams came in."

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he shunpoed, while still holding Sora, to the stack of applications on his desk and there, right on top, was an application with the name, _Hitsugaya Karin_.

XXXXX

A few weeks later, there were complaints left and right to squad 12. First when Ikkaku complained about his molar not feeling right and tasting rather funny. Come to find out, the molar had fallen into a liquid used as a laxative to put into drinks. Ikkaku was in and out of the bathroom all day leaving everyone in squad 11 complaining about the foul smell and telling him to use his own bathroom in his quarters. Ikkaku fought back with a pathetic "I can't make it that far."

And there were more complaints when the three shinigami sent to the real world came back two weeks later, especially from Ikkaku once again, since his gigai was boy crazy after taking the soul candy and even pounced on some random male bystanders.

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Ok so I know it's not that funny but forgive me for not being a comedian. I do somewhat lack talent in the creativity department so I must apologize for making a lame funny. This chapter just seems like a filler to me and doesn't seem so serious except for the part about Karin and the shinigami academy since I needed to link this chapter with the next one. I disappointed myself a little with this chapter but I hope you all like it at least a little. ;) Hopefully I'll post the next chapter on Monday! Yay for three day weekends!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone for your support, hits, reviews, alerts, favorites…you guys are great! I'm also loving all the suggestions…I'll try to fit them into the story as best I can.

**Disclaimer: Don't own bleach so please don't sue.**

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Hitsugaya processed all the applications and exams quickly. He stared at Karin's application all day, reading everything he already knew over and over again, taking in every detail that he may have missed. He almost forgot the way her handwriting leaned to the right, or how she wrote numbers horizontally instead of vertically as he does. What he couldn't take his eyes off was her name, _Hitsugaya Karin…Hitsugaya._

_Would she remember me? Sora? Does she know that Hitsugaya is her married name?_

All these thoughts ran through his mind but he came to the conclusion that she probably does not remember since she had a little over a year to come and find him in Seireitei which she would have originally known was where he resides since he is a Shinigami.

Hitsugaya made a weird grunting noise as if he tried to hold back a laugh.

"Taicho, are you ok?"

Hitsugaya looked up from the entrance exams that he had just finished correcting.

"Karin scored the highest out of all the applicants." Hitsugaya said with a smirk.

"Ooh really? You must be so proud taicho!"

"That means she's going to be placed in higher courses and may graduate within two years."

"That's great taicho." Matsumoto had the most sincere smile on. She was glad to finally see her captain in a good mood.

Sora sat under the desk at Hitsugaya's feet using his feet as a playing platform for her toys.

He took Sora over to Ukitake's who agreed to baby sit and Hitsugaya went to the Shinigami academy to post the results. When he arrived, the grounds were filled with excited students just as he had anticipated. Everyone stepped aside when the captain came into view creating an aisle for him to walk through. As soon as he closed the case to the bulletin board where the results were posted, he shunpoed out of the way to let the students see the results.

Hitsugaya waited by a tree hoping to at least get a glimpse of her but he still hadn't sighted her after the area had cleared out. Just as he was about to leave after the last person left, one person walked up to the board. It was her!

She walked slowly to the board, probably nervous about the results. He saw her take a deep breath then look up at the board. She looked the same except for her hair. It was longer and she now hand bangs covering her eyes. She looked good and he was glad that she was at least eating. Her dark blue kimono didn't look bad either so he assumed that she at least lived somewhere decent. He stood by the tree watching intensely as his wife looked at her rank and acceptance. She turned around wearing her happy grin.

XXXXX

Karin was nervous about looking at her results. _What if I failed the exam? What if they don't take me?_

"I promise you won't be disappointed with your results." Kenji assured her. He was part of the large crowd and had already seen the results. He pushed Karin out the door so that she would just go and check the results considering that the sun would soon be setting.

Karin slowly walked to the academy and made her way to the bulletin board where it was posted, she was nervous, her palms were sweaty and she had to remind herself to take deep breaths.

_Congratulations New Students_

_Everyone listed has gained acceptance into the Shinigami Academy. Students are listed in order by rank based on preceding examinations._

_1. Hitsugaya Karin_

Karin didn't need to look anywhere below the first name. She smiled and though she didn't fully express it, she was happy and excited. She turned around to see someone standing by the tree. He was a shinigami, as far as she knew, and considering his white haori, he was a captain. He had white hair and his skin was a little darker than her own. She stood there and stared at him as he stared back. She didn't know what made her do it but she found herself walking towards him. She didn't know who he was, let alone how significant he was to her, and she didn't understand all of the things going through her mind. What was drawing her to him? It was as if there was a gravitational pull between their bodies, tugging and drawing them closer. She instinctively lifted her hand to him and when she was close enough, he put his hand up to hers.

"Karin." Hitsugaya whispered.

Karin's eyes widened. _ How did he know my name?_ When their finger tips touched, Karin's eyes glazed over.

_She saw him wrapping a red scarf around her neck, she saw him running after her at a park, she saw him meeting her after school…_

When Hitsugaya saw her pupils enlarge and her eyes void of any emotion, he quickly took his hand away.

"Hitsugaya-san! Hitsugaya-san!" Kenji yelled in the distance.

Karin turned to see him but when she turned back; the white haired boy was gone.

"Who was that?" Kenji asked when he reached Karin all out of breath, bent over, hands on his knees.

"I…I don't know."

"You were touching his hand, you must know him."

"That's the weird thing, I feel like I do know him but I can't recall who he is." Karin looked at her hand, and then her eyes went to her ring. She stared at it for a few seconds, oblivious to the fact that he was wearing a matching ring.

"Well I came to walk you home since it'll be dark soon."

"Thanks." Karin muttered.

That night, Karin lay restlessly on her futon mattress. She couldn't get _him_ out of her mind. His hand was cold and soft. He wasn't that tall, he still looked like a boy, about her age, but his hair was really white. _Did he bleach it that color?_ His eyes were magnificently teal green, _very pretty_ she thought. She could remember all the lines of his face, the shape of his lips and nose, and his expression. He looked shocked, happy, and sad all at the same time. _Is that even possible? _Karin thought. She had a long and sleepless night.

Karin and Kenji would be attending the shinigami academy in two weeks where they would be living in the dorms, and after they graduate, they would live in Seireitei. Since they would no longer need their home, they planned to find people in need of a home and give them theirs.

They ended up giving their home to and young couple living in the 70th district of Rukongai.

When Karin and Kenji moved into the dorms, the young couple moved in to their home that same day. Karin was excited to be in a new place and becoming a shinigami. She would see shinigami every once in awhile walking through the streets of Rukongai and she could feel their power. She later learned that it was reiatsu but she felt like she already knew that. Everyone had their own dorm rooms where they could stay for as long as they attended the academy. It was almost like having their own little apartment except the kitchen and bathroom was shared amongst everyone.

"So are you excited to start classes soon? Just two more days." Kenji said as he stuffed a rice ball in his mouth.

"Sure. I wish you were in my classes though. I'm not going to know anyone." Karin frowned.

"Well, you ranked the highest and it was well above the person who was ranked under you so of course you'll be placed in advanced classes. Looks like we got a little genius here." Kenji grinned while making a hand gesture indicating the _genius_.

Karin smirked and looked up at the sky. It was a nice day, minimal clouds, yet the air still stung with chilliness.

The past two weeks had filled Karin with anxiety what with attending the academy and starting classes coming closer, and thoughts of the white haired boy she saw before. She would dream about him and they felt so real as if they really happened. Other nights she would dream of being alone on an empty road. It was always dark and there was a figure that could be seen in the distance. It wasn't human, that was for sure, and she felt like it was speaking to her but she couldn't hear it properly. The road would be surrounded by tall dark buildings and thunder could always be heard in the distance. She didn't understand it and thought that it was _just a dream_ but she's had the same dream countless times and it became more and more frequent.

Karin gathered her books and put it on her desk, the only other piece of furniture besides her futon and chair. Her room was fairly empty since she didn't have much to begin with and since she had to wear a uniform, she didn't bother to purchase any more clothes. She didn't want to make herself too comfortable since she wouldn't be permanently living in the dorms. After sorting out her things and putting everything away, she fell back onto her futon. She liked the privacy which was a rather big change to sharing a home with someone else who also happened to be a guy.

Karin looked at the ceiling. It was white just like the walls. Plain and empty. The floors were wooden and the shoji door was made of wood as well. Her futon lay in one corner and her desk in the other. She couldn't believe that she'd made it into the academy. It all seemed so surreal.

She continued to stare at the bare ceiling. Her eyes started to droop and her mind began to float, far away from reality. Darkness and sleep over took her. Relaxing and peaceful.

"_Toushirou, look." Karin held out her hand as snow touched down and melted almost instantly. Toushirou smiled at her. Not with just his lips but with his eyes as well. A genuine expression of happiness. He held her face, his hands were ice cold, but she liked it. She almost felt like she had accepted it. He leaned in about to kiss her…._

Karin awoke with a jolt and gasped.

"Great, now I'm dreaming about kissing him." Karin mumbled to her self. It was dark and dinner would be served soon. She had spent all day organizing and making herself somewhat at home in her dorm room so she hadn't thought to eat breakfast or lunch, so at the moment, hunger was an issue. She quickly combed her hair and rushed to the cafeteria.

XXXXX

"Come Sora-chan." Hinamori held her hand out to Sora as she walked to her.

"Momo!" Sora almost screamed.

"Oh you're so cute!" Hinamori gushed to the now 1 year old Sora.

"You act as if she's a good looking guy walking by." Hitsugaya said nonchalantly. He thought it would be great to get some fresh air so he took his paperwork and Sora outside to the 10th squad garden. Hinamori happened to show up just as they stepped outside.

"Ne, Hitsugaya-kun, are you going to tell Sora-chan about Karin?"

"I already do."

"I mean when she's old enough to understand?"

"Of course, Karin is still her mother and they will see each other again."

"Do you miss her?"

Hitsugaya stopped his work. He looked at Hinamori, then Sora, then finally up at the sky. "Everyday." He thoughtfully replied.

There was a bit of silence until they heard Sora giggling.

"Cho!" Sora pointed at the hell butterfly making its way to Hinamori. She let it land on her finger and she took in her message. (A/N: Cho means butterfly in Japanese)

"Oh I must get going, I promised to meet Renji and Izuru and I'm already late. I'll see you later Shiro-chan! Bye bye Sora-chan."

"It's Hitsugaya taicho." Hitsugaya ticked as Hinamori ran off.

"Are you hungry?" Hitsugaya asked Sora. It was starting to get dark and it was just about dinner time. Sora nodded.

"Let's go home." He held his hand to her and picked her up when she reached him.

As Hitsugaya walked through the tenth division's training grounds, he felt another reiatsu, but it wasn't just any reiatsu. It was a nasty, evil reiatsu that could only belong to a hollow. Sora could feel it too. She started to squirm and whimper and soon her whimpers turned into cries. Sora started crying.

"Kuso." Hitsugaya said through gritted teeth.

He held Sora tighter to his chest and he started to shunpo toward the office hoping that Matsumoto would still be there. He wasn't too surprised to find the office empty, she wasn't there, and she would more than likely be with Hinamori and the rest. He couldn't just leave Sora alone in his office but he didn't want to put her in danger and there wasn't enough time to just call a baby sitter. He turned the office light on and put Sora under his desk.

"Stay here until I come back ok?" Hitsugaya whispered loudly. Sora still continued to cry. Just as he was about to step away so that he could quickly get rid of the hollow Sora tugged at his pant leg.

"No! noooooo! Tou-sa!." Sora slightly screamed, tears still streaming down her face. Sora didn't want to be left alone and didn't want to feel the nasty reiatsu.

Hitsugaya hated the situation he was in. He didn't want Sora to get hurt but it was hard to leave her by herself even for just a second, but he felt like he had no other choice.

Thinking quickly, he took off his sword strap and haori then wrapped Sora in the haori so that she would be less affected by his icy zanpakutou. He also tried his best to cover her eyes with the haori because he didn't want her to see what he was about to do. Killing a hollow wasn't pretty, and Sora was much too young to witness something so horrific. He drew his sword and shunpoed back outside.

There were now three of them. They were little and fairly easy to defeat but even after Hitsugaya exorcized the hollows, it took awhile for Sora to calm down.

He noticed that the hollows had large pincers and there was only one person in all of Soul Society who would keep hollows caged up as a pet. He made a mental note to have a few _harsh_ words with Kurotsuchi taicho and how it wouldn't make any sense to put a hollow with pincers in a cage that it could easily break through.

Hitsugaya sat on the floor in his home and rocked Sora in his arms. He started to hum. It was the same tune Karin used to hum to him when he was having a bad day.

He reminisced lying down, his head resting on her lap while her hands grazed through his soft hair. She would hum to comfort and calm him and now he was doing it for his lovely daughter. Sora had never felt the reiatsu of a hollow. It was dark and gave a horrible, inexplicable feeling. Hitsugaya recalled Karin having the same sensitivity to hollows.

"Its ok Sora, it's all gone." Hitsugaya cooed. "My sweet Sora, you don't need to cry." Hitsugaya touched her cheek and continued to hum. Sora was starting to calm down, crying herself into slumber. Her face was red and puffy from crying but she was still his beautiful baby girl.

He unwrapped Sora out of his haori and gently placed her on his futon when she fell asleep. He removed her mittens, shoes, and winter clothing dressing her in something suitable for sleep after changing her. Her breathing was a little uneven because of her crying fit but the audibility was all Hitsugaya needed.

He ran the water in the tub as he stripped of his shihakusho and hakama. He stepped into the tub and soaked until his skin was red from the scalding hot water.

He cupped the water in his hands, then opened them to let the water fall through his fingers. He touched his wedding ring and started to spin it on his finger. He saw Karin still wearing her ring, yet she obviously didn't know who he was. The solid white gold band that represented their love for each other was meaningless to her but still so meaningful to him. He took it off and examined it as he had many times before. The engraving of the dragon on the inside was Karin's idea. She thought it would be more significant than having their names or initials. Now he wished their names were there instead so that it could help remind Karin who she really is and who he is to her.

Hitsugaya walked into his bedroom while drying his hair with his towel and found Sora crawling around on the futon. He sat next to her and let her crawl onto his lap.

She held on tight to his yukata, taking in his warmth, allowing separation anxiety to kick in. Growing up with just a father was all that Sora knew. She was oblivious to the fact that something was missing, she knew who she needed, who she relied on, and daddy was always there for her. She wrapped her hand around one of his fingers and held on tight.

"Are you hungry?" Hitsugaya rubbed his thumb on the top part of her little hand. Sora nodded.

Hitsugaya carried Sora into his kitchen and opened the fridge. There were cut pieces of watermelon and some left over pork tofu. He prepared some dinner while still holding Sora and gave her a little sippy-cup of water for her to drink.

He sat on his floor cushion at a little table and quietly fed his hungry daughter. She was learning to eat food from chopsticks instead of a spoon and though it sometimes created a mess, she was getting fairly used to it.

Sora enjoyed the taste of the tofu that was drenched in the same sauce as the pork. She had an acquired taste for certain foods, most of which was what her father ate, which is why she would reject cake and possibly many other sweets.

Sora held onto the arm that was holding her while eating whatever came on the chopsticks to her mouth. She finally felt warm and safe and didn't want to let that feeling go. She looked around at the familiar surrounding knowing that it was home. She knew where her toys were, where they would sleep, where the kitchen was, but sometimes it felt too big, especially if her daddy wasn't in the same room as her.

When she awoke alone on the futon, she was anxious until she saw the bathroom light on, and off course the door was open. With her awareness improving, she didn't want to upset daddy so she waited as patiently as her baby wits allowed her.

After feeding Sora, Hitsugaya sponged her down since it was much too chilly for a bath.

When laying on the futon, Hitsugaya propped his head up with one arm and watched Sora drift into a much needed sleep. He traced her face with one finger, and then checked to make sure her bracelet was on properly. He covered her with a baby blanket then he himself fell into slumber.

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Whooo! I think I like this chapter…I wanted to show the father-daughter relationship and it will be much more relevant in later chapters. Hope you all enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews guys! Hearts to you all! I'm very sorry for the late update. I think I'm going to have to put this story on semi-hiatus. I promise to update when I can and I promise that I will finish this story. I'm even falling behind on the stories I have alerts on. Tear. There's just not enough time for everything I want and need to do. Anyways I'm done with the rambling if anyone even bothers to reads this.

**Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach but I still love it.**

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Ichigo lay on his bed, restless and lost in thought. He stared at the ceiling for over an hour, learning where every crack and crevice lay, his usual frown adorning his face. Renji informed him on Karin attending the academy but didn't disclose any other details. He thought about it and wanted to go to Soul Society and pay his family members a visit but wasn't sure if that was the right choice.

Rukia had been staying with him in the human world, helping him guard Karakura of hollows and even taking some college courses with Ichigo. She grew tired of Ichigo's lack of attention which resulted in his injury from an attack by a mere everyday hollow. He had been this way since Renji had visited a few days ago. She knew it was because of Karin.

'What's bothering you?" Rukia asked bluntly.

"Its Karin, I think I'm going to visit her."

Rukia bit her bottom lip and thoughtfully stared at his profile as he lay still on his bed. "Are you sure about that? I mean you have to be careful. You don't want to upset her or force anything upon her. She won't remember you."

"Then I'll make her remember."

Rukia sighed. "It's not that easy. You could hurt her; she needs to remember on her own accord."

Ichigo gave Rukia a pleading look and she finally gave in. She loved Karin as much as everyone else did but some things just weren't as easy as everyone longed for. They made arrangements with Urahara the next day so that he could open a senkai mon for Soul Society.

* * *

Ichigo felt lighter stepping on Soul Society grounds, feeling a sudden swell in reiatsu but still carelessly let it flow out.

Ichigo and Rukia made their way to the tenth division. Rukia was excited to see Sora; it had been awhile since the last time she saw her, but not as long as the last time Ichigo saw her. Rukia knew that Ichigo would be surprised to see how much she's grown.

Hitsugaya was expecting his visitors and Matsumoto made tea and rice cakes for their guests. Hitsugaya cleaned up Sora's toys which were scattered all over the office and straightened out the papers on his desk. He knew it was _just_ Ichigo coming to visit but he still had his own reputation to keep and being a slob is not one of them.

Sora followed Hitsugaya where ever he went. If he walked to his desk, then she would go to his desk, if he walked to one of her toys to clean up, she'd follow him there. Matsumoto couldn't help but giggle at the cute little _tail_ Hitsugaya had.

Hitsugaya quirked a brow at his vice captain. "What's so funny?"

"Sora-chan is following you everywhere." Matsumoto laughed.

Hitsugaya sighed and looked down to his daughter, piercing green eyes staring back. "I know she's been like this since the hollow attack."

"At least she doesn't cry."

Hitsugaya couldn't have agreed more. He scooped Sora into his arms and felt her feet. They were cold so he placed plain white socks on her and put her back down to walk.

"She is much like her mother." He mumbled to himself.

Hitsugaya was sitting at his desk with Sora standing next to him when he heard a knock at the door.

"Come in."

Rukia walked in first, followed by Ichigo.

"Hey Toushirou, long time no see."

"Hnn." Was Hitsugaya's reply, still focused on the work in front of him and trying to dismiss the fact that Ichigo still called him "Toushirou."

Ichigo stood there for a moment until his eyes fell on Sora. It had been about a year since he last saw her and she definitely grew, though, she was still quite little for a one year old. She was standing next to her father, holding on to his haori while staring at her orange haired uncle.

The last time Ichigo saw Sora, she was about as long as his forearm. She no longer had the fuzzy hair that stood straight up, her head was now covered in jet black hair and it was long enough for it to be weighed down. Her eyes were much larger and her eyelashes were longer and she definitely wasn't walking the last time he saw her. Ichigo knelt down and put his hand out for her to take.

Sora looked up at her father curiously.

"Its ok, go ahead." Hitsugaya said gently.

Sora didn't budge. Hitsugaya stood up and took her hand that was holding on to his haori. He crouched down to walk with Sora to Ichigo. She slightly hid herself behind his legs, but still peeked around to look at the stranger in front of her.

"Sora, this is your uncle Ichigo." Hitsugaya pulled her out from behind him and held her hand out to Ichigo.

Ichigo couldn't help but smile. She looked so much like Karin when she was just a year old with the exception of her eyes.

"It's ok, I won't hurt you." Ichigo held out his hand.

Hitsugaya placed her hand in Ichigo's and she didn't pull away.

"Uhh-koh?" Sora said while looking up at her daddy.

Hitsugaya nodded. "Uncle Ichigo."

"Uhh-koh Ee-chee-oh."

Ichigo smiled. He lifted Sora and carried her against his hip. "You grew since I last saw you."

Sora touched her uncle's face and tried to reach for his bright orange hair.

"She's not usually this shy but since the hollow attack last week, she's been afraid to be alone and wary of new people."

Ichigo walked over to the sofa and sat Sora on his lap. "Hollow attack? Here?"

"I'll give you one guess as to why there was a hollow here." Hitsugaya said blandly.

"It was that freak Kurotsuchi wasn't it?"

Hitsugaya smirked at his idea of calling him a freak and nodded.

"That idiot. I'll make sure to pay him a visit before I leave." Ichigo was now back to his usual frowning expression.

"So did you see Karin yet?" He missed Karin just as much as Toushirou did, and Yuzu sent her regards. Ichigo didn't want to stall and got straight to the point. It was the question they were both anxious for and dreaded at the same time.

"I saw her for a bit but I'm pretty sure she doesn't remember me, or anyone for that matter. She ranked number one in the placement exams so she should graduate in two years or less. She definitely benefited from hanging around us."

"So how do we get her to remember?" Ichigo scratched the back of his head and slightly bounced Sora on his lap.

"We don't want to get her to remember too much at a time since that could harm her. We just need to trigger parts of her memory until she remembers everything. She should remember everything on her own." Hitsugaya knew that he triggered a memory when he touched her that day. The void in her eyes proved it.

"So how do we trigger her memories?"

"Little things can trigger it such as seeing something of her past, smells, and touch. She may even have dreams of her past but she would conclude them to just be dreams therefore deeming them unreliable."

"I'm going to go see her today. Do you think she'll remember anything if she saw me?"

"She might. Just don't push it."

"I'll be careful, I don't want to hurt her but you don't need to tell me what to do, she's _my_ sister."

"And she's _my_ wife." Hitsugaya spat back.

They glared at each other for a moment until Rukia cleared her throat. "Please boys, not in front of Sora."

Sora had been amused by the whole thing looking back and forth between the two people, unaware that they were talking about her mother.

* * *

Ichigo and Rukia took a walk to the academy in hopes of finding Karin.

"What are you going to do when you find her?" Rukia asked.

"I'm not sure, hope that she remembers me."

Rukia gave him a doubtful look. "She didn't remember Hitsugaya taicho; do you think she'll remember you?"

"I can hope."

"Well don't expect too much of this situation." Rukia bluntly replied.

Ichigo continued walking seeking optimism and failing miserably. He knew the chances of Karin remembering him would be very slim to none.

The academy grounds were filled with students dressed in either blue or red. Most of them stopped to stare at the two shinigami walking around the campus and many of the girls fawned over Ichigo. It took all of Rukia's strength to keep from punching their pretty little faces. Ichigo wasn't quite used to the attention and freaked out every time a girl came too close.

* * *

Karin saw a crowd forming in the middle of the training field but wasn't curious enough to see what was going on. Instead, she walked in the opposite direction, away from the attention and away from everyone else. She wanted to be alone as usual. She didn't talk to much people in her classes since many of them were from nobility so they didn't associate themselves with people from Rukongai.

Even though Karin was from Rukongai, she did better than most of the other people in her classes. She wasn't concerned with making friends anymore, just with getting the academy done and over with. She felt there was something she needed to do and somewhere she had to be as soon as she could get there and her gut told her it was Seireitei, out of the academy.

Her classes were simple and she could finish her homework before class was dismissed so she had a lot of free time on her hands. Sometimes she would have dinner in Rukongai with Kenji or she would just study in the library. She found many interesting things to read in the academy library and came across something of significant interest. She found an _older_ edition of Information on the Gotei 13 and the captains were listed. She noticed that there was no captain for squad 10 and that the previous captain was Kurosaki Isshin and no replacement had been found after his retirement. After seeing the name and picture, memories would constantly flood her mind but she still couldn't put the puzzle together. She could be in the middle of class and her eyes would glaze over as a new memory entered her mind.

Karin started to write down her memories and dreams. She kept a journal to keep track of it all because she felt they were somehow important. She concentrated on her own little mystery more than her academics which wasn't much of a problem for her anyways.

Karin was sitting at her desk in her room reading a book when she heard a knock at the door.

"Come in."

The door slid open to reveal Ichigo and Rukia.

"Can I help you?" Karin asked the two strangers standing in her doorway.

"Uuh…um….well." _Crap we didn't think of an excuse!_ Ichigo thought frantically.

"Hi, we're Shinigami from Seireitei and we're here to ask you a few questions for a survey." Rukia chimed in after Ichigo failed at words.

"Uh yeah, what she said." Ichigo laughed nervously as he scratched the back of his head.

"I'm Kuchiki Rukia and this is Kurosaki Ichigo." Rukia said a little too loud.

"Kurosaki?" Karin sat there and thought about the captain she saw in that book.

Ichigo's heart skipped a beat thinking she remembered him.

"Are you related to a Kurosaki Isshin?" Karin asked, showing a little more interest in her guests.

Ichigo's eyes widened a bit and his heart started to thump faster. "He…he's our…my father. Do you know him?" Ichigo tried.

"No, I saw it in a book but I can't help but feel like he's important to me." Karin looked to the floor, lost in thought. _He said _our _before _my _father_. Karin picked up her journal from her desk and jotted it down along with their names. She looked at them carefully before writing a few quick details on their appearances.

Ichigo watched her considerately whilst wondering what she was doing. She stared at them for a bit before resuming her writing. "Do you know any other of his or my family members?" Ichigo tried to get information to and from her without being too aggressive.

"I can't explain it but I feel like there are things I should know but can't get to. Sometimes I have these weird visions but they feel real, as if it really happened. I even have weird dreams sometimes." Karin was starting to mumble to herself while Ichigo and Rukia snuck a knowing glance at each other.

Ichigo watched as his sister tried to think things through. She still acted, sounded and almost looked like the Karin he knew.

"I like the new hairstyle." It slipped out of Ichigo's mouth before he could stop it.

"Huh? How would you know what my hair should look like?"

Rukia quickly covered Ichigo's mouth. "It's one of the questions….for the survey we're doing." Rukia quickly lied.

_That wasn't a question._ "What kind of survey is it?" Karin knew something wasn't right with the couple in her room.

"Uh…its."

"It's about memories." Ichigo quickly interrupted.

"Memories?" Both Karin and Rukia questioned at the same time.

"Yes, memories and we're doing a survey on how much people in Soul Society can remember their past lives. We're doing research." Ichigo stated, standing tall and proud of his lie.

"Research? You mean you guys still have homework even when you're already a shinigami?" Karin wasn't looking forward to graduating anymore. She quickly jotted down one more piece of information before replacing her journal on her desk.

"Well, we usually do other things such as rid the world of hollows and burying souls but this is just a personal interest." Ichigo sort of lied again.

"Any information we gather will go to the bureau of research and development, just for back up information." Rukia quickly added.

"A personal interest for whom and why me?" Karin eyed them suspiciously.

Ichigo and Rukia forgot how sharp Karin was and were quickly running out of lies.

"Uh…I think we should get going now." Rukia started pulling Ichigo but he resisted.

Ichigo walked to Karin and put a hand on her shoulder. "Karin, don't you remember me?"

"Ichigo!" Rukia yelled

Karin's eyes glazed over and Ichigo panicked and took hold on both her shoulders until she started writhing in pain.

Her eyes glazed over causing her to a give a blank stare into nothingness. Memories came flooding back, almost too quickly for her mind to comprehend. She saw Ichigo and Yuzu, her boisterous father in shinigami uniform, the same man she saw in the old captain's book. She saw a graveyard, _Kurosaki Masaki _carved into the stone.

Ichigo was too shocked to do anything and continued to stare at Karin. Blood started to dribble out of her nose and her eye lids were starting to slightly droop.

"Karin! Karin! Wake up!" Ichigo lightly tapped her cheek but there was no response.

"Ichigo let her go! Don't touch her."

Ichigo gently placed Karin on the floor and the blood flow from her nose stopped instantly and her eyes closed completely.

"Karin…" Ichigo tried to reach for her to touch her again but was stopped by a firm grip on his wrist.

"Ichigo, don't touch her, her memories are triggered by it."

Ichigo looked around the room and spotted a box of tissue and used it to wipe the blood on Karin's face. He worked carefully trying to keep his hand from making direct contact with her skin. He calmed himself before asking Rukia "What should we do?"

"We need to get her to squad 4 so Unohana taicho can take a look at her."

"And how are we going to do that if I can't touch her?" Frustration and anger clearly audible in his voice.

"I think she's unconscious." Rukia put one of her fingers on Karin's arm for a second. Nothing. She tested it again but this time a little longer and still nothing. "I think it might be ok to touch her now that she's unconscious. Her mind is unaware to her surroundings."

Ichigo gently placed a hand on Karin's and just as Rukia predicted, nothing happened.

* * *

Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than usual and I also apologize if anything does not make sense and for grammatical errors. Its almost three in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you every one for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. You all are so very encouraging and I love you all for that. I also want to thank you all for your patience and keeping up with my story even though I take forever to update. I'm actually working on another story too and sad to say I have more chapters written out for that one but I don't want to lag behind so I will finish this one first.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. That's just wishful thinking.**

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It had been a week since Karin was admitted into squad four's medical facility and she had yet to wake up. Unohana Retsu, the fourth squad's captain, informed every anxious individual in the waiting room that the time it will take for Karin to wake up is unpredictable. It was a matter only Karin could change and it was up to her to open her eyes. _She has to fight her own inner battle and will wake when she is ready, _as Unohana had said.

There were no physical ailments that Unohana could detect aside from Karin's nosebleed. She concluded that Karin's diagnosis to be psychological. The brain is such a complex thing and Kurotsuchi had volunteered to experiment with Karin but earned a big, fat, and not to mention loud _no_ from both her sibling and husband.

Toushirou had been upset when he found out that it was because Ichigo had touched her which caused the recent, unwanted event but later came to realize that it could not be helped and what happened was now in the past. He had to see to a positive future but optimism was not an easy feat.

Toushirou sat at his desk, paper work untouched, along with a cold cup of tea. He fiddled with his ring as he stared into nothingness. A blanket was laid out next to his desk where Sora peacefully snoozed for her afternoon nap.

Winter was coming to an end and soon spring would bloom. Cherry blossoms would flourish and fall to the floor, blanketing the grass that would soon be green and the birds would come out and sing a tune to be carried through the expected cool breezes that screamed spring. Light mist showers will take the place of snow and the weather would warm up. It will be Sora's second spring, and though she's still young, she will be able to enjoy it more this year. Her awareness was extremely sharp but her ignorance was, of course, that of a child.

Toushirou stood abruptly coming out of his stupor as realization hit. He may not be able to talk to Karin and even if she were to be awake it would still be difficult. Being so close to her yet so far away was extremely frustrating. There were other means of communication, but the question that still lingered was _will it work?_

"Matsumoto, could you please keep and eye on Sora, I have some business to attend to. I should be back in about an hour."

"Hai taicho." Matsumoto smiled but it wasn't as genuine and she wanted it to be. It was hard to smile sincerely recently, but her chirpy personality helped in these cases.

Toushirou walked to the academy, thinking of all the things he wanted to say, what he wanted her to know. There was so much that she needed to know but decided that little by little would be the best. The last thing he needed was another memory overload and if Karin made it out of this situation alive, risking anymore _frying of the brain_ as Ichigo called it, was not part of his plans in helping her.

He slid her room door open and left his sandals inside next to the door. It was empty and tidy aside from a box of tissue that was placed on the floor. Her blanket was neatly folded and her dresser had nothing on top. It was to be expected since she didn't have much and she definitely didn't have any pictures to remember anyone by. He ran his fingers along her dresser and desk which were relatively dust free. He sat at the edge of her futon and looked around her plain room. It was such a Karin trait to have very little items. She always knew what was important in life and never let superficial items get the best of her.

He sat in the wooden chair and picked a book off the desk. _Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro._ Karin always liked to read and she had all of his books back in the real world. How she was able to get this book in Soul Society was beyond him but by the look of the spine, it had to have been read more than once.

Another book lay on her desk. It was a brown notebook with nothing on the covers so he flipped to the first page and started to read.

_What are gods? Or who is God? I am but a lonely soul, stranded and confused with nothing to fall back on. A shinigami. Am I worthy enough to be a god? A _death god,_ but still a god. Is having visions part of my power? If so can I control them? Confusion is an immense thing. _

_As of today I will be keeping track of my dreams and visions. I believe they mean something and this something must be of great importance if it is all I see. _

_This is my first entry and I already have so much to say. I have strange visions and dreams and I can't figure them out. They feel so real but they're not. There's nothing I can relate them to and it all seems so jumbled and confusing beyond what I can appropriately comprehend on my own. I know I will figure this out but it has reached the point of frustration and I hope to make sense of it all before I go completely insane. _

There were a few smears and what looked like water stains on the page. Toushirou figured the cause of it were from tear drops.

_I wish there was someone who could help me. I can't tell anyone because it just seems crazy and they will think I'm crazy. I don't want to end up in a psychiatric ward, especially if I'm sure I'm not as crazy as this may make it seem. I feel alone and so far away from everyone. I want to tell Kenji and I've tried but it's not as easy as it seems. It seems writing is my only outlet for now and I hope to figure this all out before it gets out of hand._

_The most significant object of my visions is a man. I don't recall who he is but I've seen him before on the academy grounds. He knew my name even though I never mentioned it. He has an unusual hair color, silver, almost white. Then there are the dreams of people that seem familiar but I can't pinpoint who they are. The dreams are some times vague and other times a little too specific. It's almost as if I am witnessing something about myself that I do not know about. I need to find the key to my problem then maybe I won't feel as frustrated with myself. _

_In my dreams his name is Toushirou though I don't know for sure since we've never spoken a word to each, aside from him saying my name. My dreams of him had started out innocent but now it's as if we were in love. We're not lovers as far as I know but maybe he is who I need to solve this puzzle that I can't piece together. I don't know his surname and I didn't see his picture in any of the shinigami captain books but the most recent version I came across had been quite old. I know he is a captain because of his haori but I never caught what squad he led. I will keep looking but I am becoming a bit anxious about all of this. I wonder if this happens to other people here in Soul Society._

_I hope to graduate from the academy as quickly as possible. The advisors say that I am quite advanced and that I just may be a genius but I know I'm not. I'm not as smart as every one thinks I am, I just feel like I've heard it all before. Everything about this place seems so familiar. _

_All of the things that go through my mind have lead to my own misunderstanding. I feel like I don't know myself anymore. And though there is much for me to learn academically, I know there is much more that I need to learn about myself. _

_My heart can't take anymore of this unusual type of torture. When I'm asleep I am free, I feel loved, and not alone. When I open my eyes, reality is the last thing I want to face but I still have my goals in mind. It will fall into place; I just wish it could be sooner._

_With the many thoughts I have, I know that there are three goals I must accomplish: get out of this damn academy because I get the feeling an answer is awaiting me within the Gotei 13. Figure out what I'm seeing as far as dreams, visions or anything of the sort. And find this Toushirou. _

This was just her first entry and judging by the date, she had been keeping the journal for about a month. It was heart wrenching knowing that Karin thought she might be crazy. She wasn't crazy, she was quite far from it, and the teardrops were so uncharacteristic of her.

If she continued to look for him in any book in the library, she wouldn't find him. Anything less than 100 years old were kept at the research institute and he'd been a captain for no where near that long.

Toushirou skimmed through her journal and learned of her dreams and visions. Most of which were about him but there were a few memories from the human world, memories of her family and friends. What he noticed was there was nothing about Sora. Not a single hint of having or even carrying a child.

A wave of regret washed over him as he realized none of this would have happened if he had let her become a shinigami in the first place. He pinched the bridged of his nose as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He really needed to stop dwelling on the past. It was ironic how he had to focus on the present and future in order to help Karin, but she had to focus on her past in order to make sense of everything that would be held in store for her in her future.

After drowning himself in self pity, Toushirou continued to read all of the things Karin had written. A lot of it made sense to him since he knew her past but there were a few weird dreams she had that had nothing to do with her past life. After reading more and finding out that she couldn't hear the being in her dream, he knew it was her zanpakutou. That was something that she would have to figure out for herself but everything else was there and when she wakes, he could only hope that she still remembered what she wrote down and maybe even more since it was Ichigo's touch that put her in her current state.

Karin had already used half of the notebook, filled with her journal entries, thoughts, dreams, and visions. There were some places with tear drop stains and there were some pages that were much wrinkled. He would assume the cause of that was her anger or frustration, nearly wanting to tear the page out but refrained at the last minute. He felt like he still knew her so well, maybe even more now from reading her journal. He could feel her struggles and fears, her frustration and anger, and her ignorance. Introducing Karin to her own daughter would be interesting _and_ difficult.

Sora's feelings will be something of concern as well. She was getting older every day and with that came her growth in feelings and intelligence. What if she is much too old to easily take Karin in as her mother? Would she hate her? Love her? Be extremely wary of her? He didn't want to cause her confusion at such a young age. Much of the decision making will be made by him and he didn't want to make the wrong one as he felt he had done in the past.

The last page was written the day Ichigo and Rukia went to see her. She must have been writing while they were there since it was about them. She wrote down their names and described their appearances. She underlined _Kurosaki_ and there was a question mark next to the word _research_ which was written beside their names. She had also mentioned how they were acting strange and seemed a bit nervous in her presence. At the bottom of the page written much larger than everything else was one word underlined three times, _memories._

* * *

Toushirou felt a little more at peace after reading all of the things Karin had written but some of her thoughts were still troubling him. He knew where his next destination would be before returning to tenth squad and Sora.

There was no one in Karin's room when Toushirou arrived. _Perfect_.

Ever since Ichigo and Rukia went back to the human world with the latest update on Karin, her room has been less crowded. Visitors would come and go, leaving her flowers or just to say hello. People he knew such as Abarai, Madarame, and Ayasegawa, and those he didn't know such as Kenji.

He visited everyday, holding her hand, caressing her cheek and kissing her forehead. Sora had even been to visit with him but she wouldn't understand quite yet. He told Sora who this woman was and Sora has even called her _mommy_ but he knew that she didn't know how important _mommy_ is.

Toushirou sat in the chair next to Karin and held her hand as he always did. He automatically rubbed his thumb in circles on the top of her hand and looked at her lovingly. He traced her nose with a finger and touched her lips and for the first time in over a year, gently kissed them. They were as soft as he remembered and though she wasn't awake, he still got that fluttery feeling in his chest and stomach from his little act of intimacy.

He just wanted to hold her and kiss her and love her. He wanted to do many things to prove his love to her but he couldn't when she didn't know him and she was unconscious.

* * *

"Daddy!" Sora ran to Toushirou as soon as he walked into the office.

He picked her up and gave a wet kiss on her cheek earning him a giggle.

"Were you a good girl?"

Sora nodded.

Toushirou put a finger to her nose and she smiled showing her grown out two front teeth

They went to the garden to watch the sunset and decided to call it a night when it was dark.

Toushirou cooked a warm meal when they arrived home and failed at teaching Sora basic table manners. Though most parents would get frustrated with a messy child, Toushirou embraced it. Seeing Sora with food all over her face and bib put a smile on his face, and he would sometimes laugh at Sora's antics while being fed.

After giving Sora a bath, they spent the remainder of the night playing. Toushirou would roll a ball to her and she would attempt to roll it back. Sometimes she ran after the ball and tried to carry it which was a sight to see since the ball was almost as big as she was. The time Toushirou spent with Sora was treasured as much as the time spent with Karin, maybe even more. He didn't know since he loved them both so very much.

They played until Sora could barely hold her head up or keep her eyes open which meant it was bed time. Sora had already fallen asleep by the time he put her to bed and covered her with a baby pink blanket with stars on them.

After his own shower, Toushirou sat on the futon next to Sora and traced his finger along Sora's arm and face while his other hand brushed through his hair pushing it back. He lay down and thought about Karin's journal as a smile graced his lips before falling into slumber.

* * *

"I have interesting news for you Iwao-sama"

"And what would that be?" said a deep, smooth voice.

"Kurosaki Ichigo has returned with news of his sister who is now unconscious."

"And the child?"

"She appears to be healthy…though she is still a baby so she couldn't possibly know what's going on right?"

"The offspring of a Kurosaki and the Heavenly Guardian would be a great treasure and should not be underestimated even at a young age."

"I see Iwao-sama. So when will you engage your plans?"

"Believe me, we have plenty of time." Iwao voiced followed by his deep laugh.

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Sorry if this chapter seemed a little boring but I think it's important for Toushirou to understand Karin a little bit and I know everyone's anxious for a little more HitsuKarin fluff…even I'm anxious (wink wink) but it will come I promise that. Anyways, enough rambling for tonight, or day depending on where exactly you live.

-Hoshi is now outtie


	8. Chapter 8

Hello everyone! I apologize for the long wait but I've been working way too much and I've been neglecting fanfics. I just wanted to thank everyone who have been sticking to my story and I wish that I could respond to everyone's reviews but I sometimes don't see them for over a month so I apologize though reviews are very much appreciated as much as the faves and alerts. I thank you all for you're patience.

Also, I'd like to leave a warning. There is a slight sexual reference that may be better suited for at least semi-mature readers. It's just one line and I really couldn't help myself. =)

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters.**

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The following morning, Toushirou went to fourth squad bringing Sora along only to find that Karin was gone. Unohana said that Karin had awoken at about 3 A.M. and insisted on going back to her dorm which Unohana allowed.

"Please be aware that her dorm is the only home she knows right now Hitsugaya taicho."

"I understand." Toushirou nodded then walked out of fourth squad's hospital.

Instead of shunpoing for immediate travel back to tenth, Toushirou took his time leisurely walking and taking every detour possible that would increase his walking time.

"Daddy, tofu!"

"You want tofu huh? You're just like her." Toushirou smiled and rubbed Sora's mop of hair.

Toushirou walked out of Seireitei into Rukongai to see what the vendors had to eat. There was a vendor selling plain tofu and offered to heat it up for them which Toushirou accepted.

"What a cute little girl you have, though you're still a child yourself." The vendor was an older woman who was a little taller than Toushirou. She wore a handkerchief over her hair and a few black and white stray strands came down to shape her face. She was one of the few vendors who were polite.

"Thank you." Toushirou said through gritted teeth, trying not to take offense in the woman's words. He watched as the vendor prepared the tofu and placed it in a take out box.

"Here you go sir. Have a nice day now. You too cutie."

"Say thank you Sora."

Sora waved. "Dak you. Bye bye."

The woman smiled. The child had just made her day.

After purchasing a bento, Toushirou and Sora enjoyed their brunch under a plum tree just inside of Seireitei. He mixed the Tofu with some of the rice from his bento and added a little bit of chicken after shredding it into smaller pieces. Toushirou had to pick rice off of Sora's clothing and hair before letting her run off.

"Daddy!" Sora pointed to the butterfly heading toward him and Sora giggled.

After listening to the butterfly's message, he lifted Sora to his hip and started walking.

"Would you like to visit Ukitake taicho?"

Sora tilted her head and looked at her father curiously. Ukitake was a rather difficult name to say.

"Uh-koh?"

"Yes uncle Ukitake. You're going to visit him for a little bit ok?"

"Ok."

Ukitake happily agreed to baby sit Sora and handed some ume candy to Toushirou before he left to see Yamamoto. He glared at anyone who looked his way after that.

Yamamoto sotaicho had requested Toushirou to meet with him alone.

* * *

When Karin awoke it was dark and it was the early hours of the morning. After having her vitals checked and much persuasion, Unohana let Karin go back to her dorm. She could remember all the events prior to her black out and she was pretty sure she knew who Ichigo and Rukia were.

Memories of Ichigo all came back to her and along with it came the memories of her twin sister and her father. How she died was still a mystery to her and she could remember who they were but there were still blank spaces in her memory. It seemed a little fuzzy and distant but it did provide some sort of understanding to what she was seeing.

Another thing that irked her was her last name. If the Kurosaki's were her relatives then why was her last name Hitsugaya? The only conclusion she could come up with was that she was married. Being adopted had crossed her mind but she knew that she wasn't, especially since she could remember much of her family.

When she arrived at the dorms, she went to her room and gathered a plain white yukata, a towel, and shower supplies. She had been unconscious for a week meaning her hair hadn't seen shampoo for just as long.

Karin was extremely appreciative that the rest room was empty. The warm water pelting her skin was wonderful. She put too much shampoo but it didn't matter, she was much too occupied with cleansing herself. Just as she applied body wash to her little scrubby, a vision clouded her mind as her bottle of body wash crashed to the shower floor.

_He was in a tub. He, as in the white haired man. He looked exhausted and very dirty. She was outside of the tub cleaning him, gently wiping a soapy washcloth over his arms, shoulders, and chest. _

"_What did I tell you about getting so filthy?" Karin sighed while pouring a large cup of water over his head, much to his chagrin._

_He put on a smirk after the water cleared his face. "You can blame Matsumoto for that and what can I say? I love it when you clean me."_

_Karin didn't try to hide the roll of her eyes and started to wash his hair without a hint of gentle touch. Karin had moved her self on top the side of the tub for better access and when she was through washing his hair, she felt a firm grip on both arms and found most of her body immersed in the warm soapy water._

"_Tou…" she tried to complain only to have her lips came crashing down on to his and she relished it._

_One hand wrapped around her clothed waist and the other splayed on the side of her neck up to her jaw. They separated for a moment so that Karin could shift into a more comfortable position and they resumed kissing. So passionate and thoughtful, they never tire of the intimate contact._

_Toushirou made to get up trying to lift her with him. "Bed." He gasped when they parted for a quick second._

"_I'm all wet." He slightly chuckled at her unintended innuendo._

"_So take it off." _

The shower came back into view and Karin could feel her face growing crimson. _Why would I remember something like that?! _She chided her self. She leaned her head against the shower wall as the water washed away the suds that took oil and grime with it. She stayed still for awhile until she started to laugh. She wasn't sure if she was laughing because of the relief she felt knowing what her visions actually were or the absurdness of the visions that chose to present themselves. Either way, she couldn't keep a straight face and was starting to think that somewhere deep down, she just might be some kind of closet pervert.

The sun rise was bright and warmed Karin's skin. She sat in a large tree taking pleasure in the sun's warmth and enjoying the early stages of spring. It was still a bit chilly yet warm enough to stay outside without too much extra clothing. After awhile she went back to her room for a nap since she still felt a little faint from lack of energy.

* * *

It was a sunny day. The weather was warm and there wasn't a cloud in sight. When Karin woke, she wanted to get away from the refines of her own room. She decided to take a stroll through Seireitei since she had spent the last few weeks in her room. She hadn't touched her journal since the incident and didn't really find the need to. Either that or she was just too exhausted to deal with her issues. She wasn't sure.

Finding out what her visions were was like having weight lifted off her shoulders and gave her a sense of relief.

Seireitei was beautiful and seemed like a whole different place than Rukongai. She walked past the noble homes that towered over the northern part of Seireitei. They were lavish and very beautiful though much too large for her taste.

She came to a stop at a little bridge that overlooked a wide, crystal clear stream. Tiny fish could be seen swimming in large groups together as one. It was a wonder how they were able to predict each others movement and move together in the same direction at the same pace.

A light breeze caused her hair to tickle her face and the chilliness of it brought goose bumps to her skin.

For once, the peacefulness of Soul Society had put her soul at ease.

She thought about her dreams and it had occurred to her that dreams of the white haired boy were less frequent but were replaced with someone, or some _thing _else. Karin got caught in a daze as she recalled the details of her dream.

_She is walking along a street. It looks like it could be a busy city type of street but without the people, cars, or the noise. It reminded her of Tokyo and a brief memory of she and Yuzu taking a trip there flashed in her mind._

_She kept walking along the street and there were many buildings as tall as the sky but they were bare. No windows or doors graced the smooth surfaces of the endless rows of buildings._

_It was dark and it appeared as if it were midnight on a moonless night. Despite the darkness, she had never had trouble seeing. She would continue walking until she came across a lone street light - a gas lamp – and she realized that she would always make it this far in the dream, especially as of late. _

_There was a figure looming in the shadows caused by the gas lamp and she could see eyes glowing a pale blue._

"_You are getting closer child." The voice was indefinitely male. It was smooth and surprisingly gentle. _

_A sudden comfort rose in her chest and her body would feel as light as a feather. She could feel the energy all around her and she wondered what it would be like to feel it with others around._

"_Where am I?" Karin whispered._

"_A place created from deep within your soul."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_You will learn soon. Until then, brace this power and find your past, present and future. I will soon come to your aid."_

The dream would come to an end and Karin would wake up calmer than expected.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Karin said aloud to herself.

She felt a reiatsu approaching. It was contained and under complete control but she could still feel the powerful nature of it.

A man with white hair was approaching her as he held a child.

He recognized Karin from quite a distance but kept in mind that she wouldn't remember him or Sora.

He stopped on the bridge and sat on the stone wall that was also meant as a short rail to keep people from falling in.

"Good morning miss."

Karin replied with a quiet "good morning" with a quick bow after assessing his captain's robe.

He held the child firmly to prevent her from falling as she looked down into the water.

Karin looked at the child in his arms. She had raven black hair and the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, though they looked some what familiar.

"She has very beautiful eyes. Is she yours?"

Ukitake slightly laughed and waved his hand suggesting that idea to be silly. "I am just the designated nanny for now. Yes she inherited her father's eyes but the rest of her features she got from her beautiful mother." Ukitake looked at Sora with a soft gaze.

Karin raised her brow. This man was a little strange. _Are all shinigami this unusual? Every one I met so far has been acting a little weird._

Karin held back a laugh at the thought of strange behaving shinigami.

"Look fish! Fish!" Sora pointed to the water when she saw the large schools of fish.

Karin smiled.

"Would you like to hold her?"

Karin didn't try to hide the shocked look on her face. Why would a man or _nanny_ as he called himself let a stranger hold someone else's child?

"I…it's ok." Karin held up both her hands and smiled sheepishly.

_People in Soul Society are much too trusting offering strangers to hold someone else's child._

"I am Ukitake Jyuushiro." He said as he held out his hand.

"Hitsugaya Karin." She firmly shook his hand as a knowing smile graced Ukitake's lips.

That was when her eyes met the child's.

"Mommy." Sora pointed to the woman standing before her. "Mommy." She said again.

* * *

When Karin arrived at her dorm, she noticed her journal sitting nicely on her desk. She had neglected it for weeks and decided to read some of the things she had previously written. After a little girl addressed her as "mommy", she couldn't get it out of her mind. It plagued her all the way back to her dorm and the 13th squad captain had apologized for the confusion. What she didn't fail to notice was that he didn't say that the child was confused or anything along the lines of her looking similar to the child's mother. He'd just quickly apologized and hastily walked off.

Karin opened her journal to the last page she had written on only to find handwriting that wasn't hers.

_Your visions are your memories from another life, a life that is still here waiting for you. You are not crazy and you are not alone._

_I love you_

_

* * *

_

I hope this chapter tickled your fancy. Slight HitsuKarin fluff (yay) and the time for them to meet is nearing with every chapter. Well obviously. Anyway I hope there weren't too many mistakes and I will update again as soon as I can. Reviews are appreciated and I hope every one put the story alerts to use.

Hoshi out


	9. Chapter 9

Yay the next installment is available for all to read! Cheers. Thank you all for being patient with me. And thanks for the reviews, alerts, and favorites.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. **

Karin looked down at her book. Eyes wide. She didn't know whether to be paranoid because someone had been in her room or relieved that there is someone out there who understands her situation.

Understanding to what she sees and feels seemed impossible and nonexistent.

She touched the words, tracing the unfamiliar handwriting. It triggered a memory.

_It was a beautiful day. There were many people in a courtyard surrounded by sakura trees. They were all in bloom, it was early spring. The sun shone brightly as it neared sunset and the pink of the trees matched that of the sky. _

_Everyone was clad in dressed kimonos. She herself was wearing a white one with pale colored under layers. She remembers feeling quite uncomfortable but Yuzu had refused to let her wear shorts under it._

_She was walking down the aisle, heading to the altar. There someone waited, she continued walking…_

She removed her hand from the page.

"I'm married." She said it aloud though there was no one around to hear.

She looked at her ring, tracing her finger around it over and over. _I'm married to _him. _Hitsugaya Toushirou, captain of the tenth squad. _His name seemed to linger on the tip of her tongue for so long. _Hitsugaya, Kurosaki was my maiden name._

A smile graced her lips.

Her memories were still unclear missing large gaps here and there. Some of it didn't make any sense while other memories were instantly put together like a puzzle, the ones she could vividly remember. The unsolvable puzzle that was her life was slowly coming together.

It was strange, being married to someone she felt she didn't know, yet there were times when she felt the nostalgia with a mix of déjà vu. It seemed familiar but she couldn't put her finger on it.

* * *

Whenever she sat at the top of ahill, taking in the breeze, she could see him. She found the perfect view of the 10th squad's training grounds and she would see him there every so often. He was usually alone and she could feel the chill of his zanpakutou, even from the great distance.

There were times when he would stop and he'd face her but she didn't know if he was really looking at her. She figured that he was just resting and assumed that she was just some other student from the academy.

Karin went back to the hill everyday for three weeks.

He wasn't there everyday of course, but it didn't stop her. She always hoped to spot him and maybe one day she could work up the courage to talk to him. She didn't know why, it was inexplicable; she just always had this urge to see him. He was her husband after all. _I have a right to see my own husband._ She'd always reassure herself, she wasn't a stalker!

She figured that he must have been quite busy since he would only be out at the training grounds two to three times a week and he was always alone. She also noticed that when he stopped, he would play with his hand. Doing something that she couldn't see but if she wasn't mistaken, she thought that he was playing with his ring.

_His ring._

_He must have one similar to mine. The dragon._

It all made sense. She undoubtedly knew that she was and may still be, married to him.

It was a compromising thought, being married to someone that she's unsure of how to express feelings for. She didn't know whether he still loved her. _Maybe he moved on. It can't be, I saw him, and he touched me. That seemed like so long ago._

And it was quite awhile ago. Just over half a year and counting.

Karin was getting closer to graduating. Her zanpakutou had materialized itself and she was getting used to her powers.

* * *

With the help of her zanpakutou, she had the ability to track. With a great deal of concentration she could detect anyone near or far. It was much simpler if she were tracking someone with reiatsu but her zanpakutou didn't limit her to that. Her sensitivity to reiatsu is a part of her, part of her soul, so with that, her power of tracking and sensory was born. The same sensitivity she had unknowingly passed to her offspring.

The mind is a powerful entity and Karin was able to explore it. She could see through the eyes of another, though it took much effort.

Her tracking powers would be useful in finding those who are missing whether or not they want to be found. She would be extremely useful to the secret ops, better known as squad 2 under Soi Fon. She had found this out when discussing where she would be of most use with an academy placement officer.

Being able to delve into people's minds came as a great advantage. She could find their specialty in power and predict their movements, but any great power comes with a price or disadvantage. It took immense concentration to hold on to someone's thoughts and trying to hold to that would be extremely difficult in the midst of a real battle. It took even more reiatsu to accommodate this special power. With time she had improved but there was still much for her to learn and it would require a lot of training.

Ichigo went back to Soul Society a few times to see his little sister and even trained with her, trying to improve her stamina and bringing out the many powers within her. She told him to never hold back and he was extremely resistant at first, not wanting to hurt her but later regretted it when he had his ass handed to him and had to deal with the stream of insults that came after. It was then that he knew she wasn't to be messed with.

"_The only way to achieve my greatest ability is to fight the strongest there is out there."_

Ichigo had smirked at those words then and smirks when he thinks of it in the present. He gave it all he got with out the use of his bankai. She could train in that depth later.

The first ability Karin discovered when her zanpakutou manifested itself was creating a reiatsu shield. It could help with _Hakuda_, hand to hand combat, but other than that and deflecting low kidou spells, it was useless. Her zanpakutou's comforting words of helping her find a way to use it was the only reassurance she gained through her frustration of making her reiatsu shield useful.

* * *

It was a warm summer day; birds chirping in a nearby tree, the different sounds of nature were like music to her ears. The sun beamed down warming the grounds of Soul Society and Karin's pale skin.

It was another day she spent sitting on the hill. She found herself waiting and watching the man from her dreams and tried to feel what she had felt for him but found it impossible. Even when she got a glimpse of him, she thought it might work but it didn't.

When it all comes down to it, she didn't know him besides through the visions and dreams that repetitively played like a movie in her mind. Forcing herself to fall in love proved impossible, yet she did not lose interest. She wouldn't let herself forget.

She thought it would be the same as any other day, he may or may not show up, and if he did, she would just sit and watch. Either way, she knew that she would spend her day at the top of the hill.

Karin hadn't expected to see him walk to the middle of the field then disappear.

_He's quick._

She felt him, he was coming. She blocked his hit the moment she stood, a millisecond after she had unsheathed her sword. A loud clang sounded as their blades collided.

"Good reflexes." He said coolly.

Karin narrowed her eyes and slightly growled as she pushed him away using her zanpakutou causing him to swiftly but gently jump back.

_He was holding back, that was merely a tap for him but I still could feel so much power behind it._

It was in Karin's nature to not be bested so she charged but he dodged swiftly and without much effort. That didn't quite stop Karin. She charged at him again, and correctly predicting that he would dodge, she was able to end up behind him.

"Too slow." She swung but her sword didn't meet anything, cutting through air.

"No, you're too slow." He was behind her, zanpakutou pointed to her back.

She froze.

He won.

It was so quick and simple for him.

_I am really weak._

Toushirou lowered his sword as Karin slowly turned around.

It felt surreal standing in front of him now, much different than the time she had seen him when she first got accepted into the academy. Now she knew, she was standing in front of her _husband._

Disbelief plastered in her eyes. She was married to _him_, so powerful, so handsome, and so important at captain rank of the Gotei 13. It was hard for her to believe that she had somehow caught his eye and held his heart.

"Is there an explanation as to why you have been watching me this past month?"

Karin didn't budge, just stared him down. She spotted a ring, similar to her own white gold band on his ring finger.

She reached for his hand, slowly inching closer but he didn't move. Her fingertips touched the top of his hand but when her eyes glazed over and her movement seized, Toushirou took his hand out of her grasp.

Karin fell forward breaking her fall with her hands, a little short of breath. She looked into his eyes, such familiar eyes, and she could see the emotion swirling beneath them, within him. Sadness? Pity? Love? She couldn't pinpoint just one.

"What did you see?" he was calm and Karin was a bit taken aback that he knew she had seen something.

"You." She whispered as she stood to meet his gaze.

Toushirou closed his eyes, lost in thought. He didn't know what to do, a part of him wanted to just hold her and make her remember and get it over with. But he thought of what happened with Ichigo and how it had hurt her leaving her in the hospital for a week. As far as he knew, Ichigo hadn't touched her for very long so the thought of holding her for more than a few seconds sent shivers down his spine. She had already died once and he wasn't going to let it happen again.

After thinking for a moment, he finally spoke up.

"Do you remember me?"

"I do."

Toushirou didn't try to hide his shock and excitement with the widening of his eyes but he kept his lips pursed shut to keep from jumping to conclusions.

"But…" she looked at him, brows furrowed as she tried to find the right words to say with out hurting his feelings.

"I don't remember my feelings for you. I don't feel them."

It was a stab to Toushirou's heart, disappointment now etched on his features. He had already waited over a year for her and when he finally has a chance to really speak to her with out causing chaos to her mind, he still remained disappointed. He avoided confusion simply by avoiding her, hoping she would remember things on her own, which she did. But memories are very different from feelings and the two can't always intertwine. He would have to re-create the connection they had.

"I'm sorr…"

"Don't apologize." It wasn't like him to interrupt anyone but he needed to let her know. "It's not your fault."

"So what about us? I don't know what to do. I want answers, I want things to be how it should be." Karin sounded a bit anxious, her pent up stress and anxiety coming out in a hasty stream of words.

"It can't be helped." Shrugs. "I'll just make you fall in love with me again."

After a moment, his words sunk in, irritation causing her eye to twitch.

"And you're so confident that you could do that? _Make_ me fall in love with you?"

"Yes. You fell in love with me once; perhaps a second time won't be so hard."

"You…you ass!" Karin's blood was boiling with frustration and annoyance. If he managed to get her on this level with two sentences, she couldn't comprehend how she had agreed to spend the rest of her life with him.

Toushirou smirked. _Still the same Karin, feisty and highly opinionated._

Karin's face turned a little red as she glared at him and his smirk, Toushirou had to hold back a chuckle.

"I love you Karin. Please remember that I am not going to let you go so easily."

Karin's anger slowly dissipated as she took every thing in. What he just said, his face, his voice, his ring. It was all somehow familiar. This is who she dreamt of nearly every night and even though not every single aspect could be seen and heard in a dream, she knew she had once loved him. She loved all of him – the tender, kind, angry, loving, arrogant him – with all of her heart. She'd forgotten how to love. What it really felt like to be loved and to love in return. Aside from the unconditional love for her family, the emotion seemed nearly unattainable, something that just happens, not sought after and forced.

Toushirou stepped forward and fought the temptation to touch her, pull her face in and just kiss her. He settled for taking a few strands of her hair and running his thumb and forefinger down the bunched up strands, reveling in the silky smoothness between his fingers.

Karin stood still, letting some what of a stranger touch her hair. Though it should have been awkward, it wasn't. It was far from that. Everything felt so right, they were meant to be together but there are obstacles they must over come.

She could see that he was holding back but she didn't understand just how much he wanted to touch her face. It was a quiet, peaceful moment for them, one they would later come to cherish, but for now they only took in what they could take and no more.

She watched as his lids seemed to droop. He took a deep breath through is nose and exhaled through his mouth as he stepped back.

"Come back here tomorrow at noon and we can work on improving your zanjutsu."

"Okay." A meek, nervous voice. A voice even Karin didn't recognize even though it was her own.

That night, Karin dreamt of him peacefully. A soundless sleep until the later hours of the morning. Oh how she loved academy breaks.

* * *

The summer sun beamed down on them, heating their skin which will undoubtedly result in a nice tan and proper intake of vitamin D. The clang of their swords echoed throughout the field, music to ears of those who enjoy the rush of battle.

Toushirou trained and patiently helped Karin with wielding her katana. She took his constructive criticism without aggravation and made the most of what she could and was willing to learn.

Besides building stamina and speed, Toushirou taught her technique, strategy, and control. Karin was disciplined but there were times when her frustration and emotion got the best of her causing her to briefly lose focus.

They had been going at it for a few hours, Karin huffing and gasping for breath whereas Toushirou didn't even break a sweat. He was a master at zanjutsu after all. He had barely moved from his spot as he repeatedly told her to _"come at me."_

When Toushirou declared the end of their training session, Karin hid her disappointment. She wanted to spend more time with him and he wanted to be with her as well but he had left Sora with Matsumoto and he needed to get back to her. It was evident that Karin did not remember ever bearing a child so he did not bring it up. He didn't even know how to put it in words without making it sound ridiculous. _Oh by the way you had my child over a year ago but you can't hold her since it would undoubtedly hurt you by overloading your brain with memories you lost when you died giving birth to her._ No he would not get into that. He would wait patiently until she figured it out on her own.

The next day Karin met him yet again at the training field but he brought paper, ink, and a brush for writing. When she told him that the memory of their wedding had come to her when she touched his writing in her journal, Toushirou was intrigued and he came up with the idea of letting her remember in smaller doses. It was his first experiment with her memories after all when he left traces of his reiatsu in his writing.

He experimented by writing Urahara's name on a piece of paper. He asked her beforehand if she knew who he was and she shook her head no. When the ink dried she traced the lettering and brief visions of a candy shop resurfaced in her mind. Two children, Yoruichi, and Tessai also came to mind as well as the underground training station which is located beneath the Urahara shoten. After writing a few more names and helping Karin remember more people she was associated with, Toushirou noticed the beads of sweat that formed on her forehead as well as the quick breaths that came after removing her fingers from the writings.

He didn't want to push her and stopped, especially when she claimed that she had a headache.

It may still take time but it was progress and Toushirou beamed at their accomplishment.

They sat under a tree taking advantage of the lowered temperature the shade offered. Karin sat with her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around her legs and watched as birds flew in the distance and the swaying of the thin branches caused by the light summer breeze. She felt his gaze and turned to look at him.

He was always mellow and spoke properly and only when necessary. He didn't ask many questions but he always answered hers. He knew many things and had an answer for everything she asked. Even for the dumb questions she tried to annoy him with such as _why can't fish fly?_ He was such a smart ass. Karin smiled as his gazed intensified.

"What are you thinking that you have to look at me so intently?"

"Nothing, I shouldn't even think it."

"What is it? Maybe I can help."

"I doubt that."

"I am not as incompetent as you may think I am."

"What I'm thinking has nothing to do with your competence since I already know you can do it. It's just a matter of the consequences, which is unknown as far as you and I both know."

"What is it?" Karin repeated.

There was a pregnant pause as Toushirou fought with his inner self. "I want to kiss you." He mumbled.

Karin sighed, the upturn of her lips still plastered on her face.

She lifted her hand to bring it to his face and when she was a few centimeters away, Toushirou moved away, hurt apparent in Karin's eyes.

"We really shouldn't." he never took his eyes off hers.

"Kiss me."

"I just said that we really sh.."

"I don't care. Just kiss me, please." She interrupted. She didn't know why but her gut told her to do it. It didn't have to be long, just a second. Toushirou didn't move and stilled even further when he felt her press her lips against his for a brief second.

She pulled back quickly.

"Don't be foolish Karin."

Karin smiled crookedly. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

Toushirou reddened if only slightly. "What did you see?"

"A house. A pale yellow house." Karin's eyebrows furrowed. "Is that our house?"

Toushirou nodded.

Karin thought about the house, tried to think and remember but she couldn't remember anything else about it.

"That's our house in the human world. We purchased it just before we got married."

_Our house._ Karin smiled. Learning something new about her former life was as exciting as a kid would be in a candy store. She wanted to learn more about this man, the life they lead, and most importantly about herself. It was a bit awkward that people would know more about her than she did herself but she couldn't imagine how awkward it was for others to know her and everything about her knowing that she didn't remember a thing. It was all so complicated, stressful, and she hated pity.

Toushirou stood up. It was nearly sundown meaning he had spent much of the day with her.

"Do you want me to come tomorrow?"

Toushirou shook his head. "Take a break. I probably have a lot of work to catch up on."

"Maybe I can help you?" Karin wanted to spend more time with him, even if it meant doing work. She briefly wondered how often he used to choose work over her.

"I have other responsibilities that you don't need to concern yourself with, at least not yet." By this he meant Sora but he wouldn't tell her that. He just continued to let her think it was paper work.

Disappointment was written all over her face but she nodded and turned to walk away.

"Come back in two days time. I should be caught up by then." He wasn't going to neglect Karin either, especially with all the progress they were making.

She turned and smiled at him. "Ok."

Toushirou watched her walk away, her red hakama pants fluttering with the breeze. He watched until she was out of sight, too far for the eye to see.

When he stepped into his office, Matsumoto was at her desk with her head down while snoozing and Sora was sprawled out on a blanket on the floor.

All the women in his life were troublesome in some way but everything was always worth it.

He picked Sora up who opened her eyes briefly but fell right back asleep and he held her, rocking her back and forth before placing a kiss on her forehead.

* * *

Hope this chapter was somewhat enjoyable and didnt bore you to tears. Tried to add a little fluff. Anyways thanks for reading. Ja ne!


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